Presently, about 8 to 15 matrimonial cases are being filed every day, 90 per cent of which are for divorce and the rest for restitution of conjugal rights against a spouse abandoning the matrimonial home. Almost half of these divorce cases are filed within one to three years of marriage; and about 30 per cent are by mutual consent where couples seek divorce urging incompatibility and complete breakdown of their wedlock.

Advocate Anuradha Simha, who has been handling matrimonial cases since 13 years, says: “Most divorce cases are from the people in lower strata or the higher strata where both spouses are educated, working and economically independent. In many cases involving young couples, due to hectic work schedules or different work timings, psychological, social and physical bonding is found missing. Traditional family expectations from women despite their professional commitments is also adding to trifles. Doubting each other’s fidelity or integrity has increased. ”

Prof Vasanthi Vijay, Head of Social Welfare Studies Department, Bangalore University and Conciliator at city family courts, says: “IT professionals are contributing to the rising toll of divorces. People tying the knots by way of love cum inter-religion marriages, hurried up internet marriages without socialising with each other or their families have more problems.”

She adds: “Educated youth are losing value for companionship although they keep on complaining of having no company. They need to offer companionship to their spouses if they want the same back. Many professionals are also neglecting sex life owing to lack of time.”

Hectic work-life affects
Psychiatrist Dr A Jagadeesh, says: “Hectic work-style, more so when husband and wife have different work timings, affects marital relationship. Lack of time and communication, improper attention to sex life are serious concerns.”

Both spouses having a hectic professional life is one of the reasons for rising marital discord, although it is not the main reason, say senior conciliators at city family courts. They see many other factors too, contributing to disharmony.

Other factors
Senior conciliator Jaya Shiva thinks: “Due to economic independence, many women prefer to end a straining marriage instead of suffering harassment. However, many times, small issues are also magnified.”

Another conciliator, Iqbal Ahmed explains: “Free movement and interactions with people irrespective of genders, is now common and part of professional life. But, many people, especially men, still don’t tolerate their partners’ interaction with their colleagues belonging to the other sex.”

Aparna Poornesh sees lack of commitment towards the spouse or the family, with some urging freedom at the cost of their relationships. Another conciliator Roopa explains about ego clashes: “Educated men and women having individual identities, sometimes get to proving their points, resulting in disharmony.”

Extra-marital affairs
Prof Vasanti cautions about the rising trend of extra-marital affairs at workplaces, from both sides. Irrespective of gender, many youngsters are finding companionship in their colleagues while neglecting their spouses, she says adding: “While, IT sector sees many extra-marital affairs, people in public sector units like ITI, BEL, have been leading the trend.” Jaya Shiva explains: “This might be since they spend more time at work rather than at home. Extra-marital relations form a vicious circle - one gets companionship in workplace and deprives the same to the spouse at home.” This apart, many marriages end due to suspicions too.

Marriage also affects work life
Latha (name changed), a HR professional with a software company, who is now before a city Family court to end her marriage, says: “It is not work affecting marriage in my case. Marriage has affected my life and performance at work. I have a very comfortable work schedule, a 10 am to 5 pm and 5-day a week job. But, I got a partner who is not willing to take responsibilities. He does not work, is non-cooperative, lies all the time, and is now suspecting my fidelity. For me, the main purpose of marriage is demolished. Now, I want to get out of it so that my child, who will be one-year-old soon, does not grow up with it.”

LOST CHILDHOOD
An alcoholic father and frequent quarrels at home made a 14-year old girl leave her home in Mandya and fend for herself on the streets of Bangalore.

For Vani (14) from Koppla in Mandya district, her house was a hell. Her father used to return home in an inebriated state and beat up her mother in front of all the children. The regular fights distressed the girl who left last year to spend the rest of her life on the Bangalore streets, unaware about the cruel world. She was working as domestic servant in Malleshwaram in the city before someone alerted the Makkala Sahaya Vani, who brought the girl to ‘Namma Mane’, a house for the street children.

Vinod (12), is in Namma Mane for the past one year. His drunken father had perpetrated atrocities on his mother and his siblings before eloping with another woman around three years ago. He abandoned his family in Siddapura in Bangalore and started living in the streets. With other street children he learnt smoking, drinking and other bad habits. Before he became a juvenile delinquent, the Rehabilitation of Street Children brought him to Namma Mane.

Haseena from Hunsur too has a pathetic story to narrate. Some years ago, her father left the family to lead a life with another woman. Three years back, her mother sent the girl with their ‘relatives’ to Bangalore to allow her to pursue her education.

“I never knew those people who brought me to Bangalore. They were compelling me to work and bring money for them. I escaped from them and reached Namma Mane,” says Haseena.

The Director of the Rehabilitation of Street Children P Lakshapathi says, “The tense family atmosphere, poverty and alcoholism compel children to run away from home to an insecure world where they get exposed to social evils.”