"Amma, I don't want Santhosh for a brother".

"Throw him out of the house".

"Get me a 'normal' elder brother". I yelled, as I walked into the house, that evening.

"Murali, what has your elder brother done to upset you? asked my mother in her gentle- "for my sons only" - tone.

"He walked into our foot ball game, stood in the centre of the field, repeating 'Footh Pall' endlessly. My team mates started yelling 'Looney'. I had to guide him home using his teddy bear as a bait".

"Santhosh's 'Footh Pall' calls for a celebration and stop playing with children who don't try to understand people who are differently abled". Counselled my mother.

"He is not abled in anyway. He is plain mad".

"He cries for no reason at all".

"He doesn't respond when I hug him"

"He makes no eye contact when I shout at him in hopeless anger".

"What is wrong with Santhosh?"

"Your elder brother is 'autistic'. It will take years of coaxing before he responds to your love or anger" replied mother.

"Browse the net for more information on 'autism'. That may help you to understand why you have to grow up fast and care for your brother" advised mother.

That night saw me complete my home work with lightening speed. I sat in front of the computer and read every single site on autism, that opened for me.

My brother's brain did not function the way mine did. He would always live in a world of his own. He would hate changes in his environment, which he would not be able to express. This would lead to tantrums, bouts of endless crying and other physical complications of his frustrations. He would never be able to go to a normal school and grow up with normal emotions. The list of abnormal behaviour in autistic persons seemed endless. I had enough of autism and went to bed wishing that I had an elder sister, for autism was far and few among girls.

Next morning, I blundered rather inadvertently at the breakfast table. "Mum, I don't think autistic people have any role to play within a family. They are just a burden aren’t they? Santhosh is more fond of his teddy than any of us. Isn’t he? However much I try, he will never be the elder brother I need".

I could see the hurt in my mother's eyes.

"Murali, every living creature has a role to play. Santhosh's role is beyond your comprehension. With maturity you will recognise your brother's importance to us" said mother with firm conviction.

My best pal in school was Pheroze. He understood my love-hate relationship with my 'cold' brother.

"Pheeru, I was boorish about Santhosh. I have to make amends".

"Find some way of communicating with your brother" said Pheroze.

"Shall I try Ventriloquism?

"Such a big word on your brother who can not say even simple things like 'Hello' and 'bye' laughed Pheroze.

"Dumbo, I am going to become a Ventriloquist...

"Ha you want to become a 'belly speaker'. You have to practice endlessly to throw your voice and never to move your lips", smiled Pheroze.

"Just wait, I will make an excellent ventriloquist. A good mirror is going to be my only friend in the coming months".

"Bravo Murali, that is the spirit. Manipulating your voice so that it appears to come from a hand held puppet is the common style of V's. who is going to be your side kick? questioned Pheroze.

"My brother's teddy bear. I am going to call it 'Hope'

Frustrating hours of practice and lots of reading about the performance of great ventriloquists gave me enough confidence to try my experiment on my brother.

With 'HOPE' in hand, I walked upto Santhosh. Hope spoke ('I love you'). My brother started a garbled sing song, repeating (I THOVE U) rocking himself into a frenzy of disjointed movements.

I was amazed to see that my elder brother who in reality was my baby brother had reacted, had shown some undefined emotion.

Hope spoke - "Come on Murali, persist, and you will touch an emotional chord deep inside your brother's brain. Keep at it and you are bound to succeed".

I kept perfecting my act with practice and more practice, even at the cost of my studies. It had become a magnificent obsession, my only route to reach my lonely brother.

My parents had to go out of town. They had to attend a relative’s funeral. For the first time, my brother and I were alone at home. That night I woke up to strange noises in the house. Thieves had entered the house. I had to do something to save ourselves and our valuables.

A stern voice spoke to the two thieves. "How dare you enter a police man's house? I am going to shoot the two of you". There was sound of gun shots.

The robbers took to their heels as they could not fathom this unexpected turn of events. Ventriloquism had come in handy. But it was Santhosh who had helped to save the night. I had learnt ventriloquism only to reach out to him. May be this is what Mum meant by "Every living creature has a role to play".