Dear Madam,
I have a friend who is studying in II PUC. She lives with her mother, sister and brother. Her father is no more. She is the eldest. She used to do a part-time job but has now left it. She has not been able to pass her exam for the past two years. I don’t understand what the problem is as she hasn’t expressed it. How can she concentrate on her studies? Are there any other courses that she can take up so that she can run her house and help out in the future?
Prasad

Dear Prasad,
It is good to see that you want to help your friend. I can give you some reasons as to why she is not doing well. All of them may be true or all of them may be false as I can at best do some guesswork.
These could be some reasons:
She has got used to working and earning money and has therefore no interest in studying.
She is finding it difficult to get back to studying as there is a gap between her 10th and PUC.
She cannot cope with the stream of studies that she has taken.
She could be worrying about the future of the family and is therefore not able to concentrate.
Her English comprehension may be poor.
I can go on with reasons like this, but unless she opens up and communicates her problems she cannot be helped. Even if I give you suggestions for concentration, she may not agree to follow them. The best way you can help her is to get her to talk or convince her to seek help for herself.

Dear Madam,
I am doing my 5th semester Engineering (EC). I took a few tests on a website, tickle.com and am convinced that I am a right brained person, an introvert. I have passed all my semester exams with distinction. I understand the concepts quite well but I feel that I am not able to grasp the details very well and fast. Most of the time I end up feeling really worried about it, which affects my concentration.
I think I am a bit overcritical about myself and I am very bad at asking for help even from friends. I want to get rid of the feeling. Please give me an idea of career options in the field that would suit my type best. Also give me some guidance on how to improve my left-brain characteristics.
T

Dear T,
Have you heard the saying, ‘a little knowledge is dangerous’? You have picked up something from the test that you did, but have not understood it correctly.
Let me try and explain: Professor Roger Sperry researched the brain’s most highly evolved areas, the cerebral cortex. His initial findings indicated that the two hemispheres of the cortex tend to divide the major intellectual functions between them. The right hemisphere appeared to be dominant in the following intellectual areas: rhythm, spatial awareness, imagination, daydreaming, colour, gestalt (whole picture). The left hemisphere appeared dominant in a different range of intellectual areas – words, logic, numbers, sequence, linearity or step-by-step thinking, analysis and lists. Thereafter Roger Sperry’s findings were confirmed but more has been discovered. Although each hemisphere is dominant in certain activities, they are both basically skilled in all areas. The mental skills identified by Roger Sperry are actually distributed throughout the cortex. Therefore if you label yourself as ‘left or right side dominant’ you are limiting yourself. (Reference – The Mind map Book by Tony and Barry Buzan)

I hope you have understood that what you are doing to yourself is limiting. Somewhere in your mind you believe that a left-brain dominant person is superior, and you are worrying yourself that you are less. If you want to pay more attention to detail, try using the dominant areas of the right hemisphere, like colour, gestalt etc. in other words, use mind mapping in your study techniques.

Being overcritical and not being able to ask for help are inter linked issues. Overcritical persons are trying for perfection. Asking for help makes you perceive that you are less than perfect. I truly think that ‘progress’ is much more important than perfection. Try and work on making ‘baby steps of progress’ and assess the progress you are making within a time frame. Believe me, you will be much happier and much more content as you will not forget to love yourself.