Two young women hailing from different corners of Kerala have turned poster girls, overnight, for anti-dowry campaigners. Both mustered their courage and called off their weddings, as their prospective grooms continued to bargain for dowry till hours before the weddings were scheduled to happen. One of them, Flitty Jojo, a scientist at Samy Labs, Bangalore, even got the bridegroom and his parents arrested.

Flitty, who hails from a Catholic family of Irinjalakkuda in Thrissur and Sreekala, hailing from a family of carpenters in Kollam, come from entirely different backgrounds. Yet, their story sounds strikingly similar.

Sreekala was all set to marry a small-scale businessman on January 20. They had been engaged for two months.
“The boy’s parents demanded Rs 1 lakh in cash and 15 sovereigns of gold as dowry. We gave Rs 25,000 as first installment and later transferred a further Rs 50,000,” said Nidil, Sreekala’s brother.

However, the bridegroom’s father demanded that the rest of the amount — Rs 25,000 — be paid a day before the wedding. “We were short of money, but promised that we would settle the amount two days later. Not only did they reject the request, but they even threatened to pull out of the wedding,” Nidhil recounted.

That was when Sreekala stepped in and called it off. “It was entirely her decision. She was obviously hurt when the groom’s father said she could take the begging bowl to get the remaining amount,” he said.

Though the wedding did not happen that day, her cousin Kannan came forward to accept her hand and Sreekala too was happy to marry him. The two tied the knot at a temple in Kollam a week after Srikala’s scheduled date of wedding. She won many admirers, including those from the State Women’s Commission which praised her resolve.

“Girls should stand up and tell prospective grooms that nobody can fix a price on them. When I took them to the police, they pleaded for a quick settlement. But I said this marriage will not work,” Sreekala said.

Flitty’s case is different from that of Srikala’s by just a few lakhs. She was engaged in December and the marriage was scheduled for February 3.

“Trouble started when we jointly went to buy gold according to the custom. I asked my sister to select articles not exceeding 35 sovereigns for Flitty, who is my only child. But the boy’s sisters and their husbands demanded more than 100 sovereigns,” Jojo Antony said. They struck a compromise and settled for 40 sovereigns after Jojo said that his residence valued at over Rs 30 lakh would go to Flitty.

“On January 30, they stormed into my house and demanded Rs 6 lakh and threatened to cancel the wedding if the money was not given before it”, Jojo said.

Flitty said the groom’s attitude was the last straw. “I called him to seek his personal opinion. He said he would stand by his parents. It was then that I decided it is not worth pursuing the wedding proposal,” she says.

Jojo went a step further and filed a complaint. The Thrissur First Class Judicial Magistrate ordered a police inquiry, which subsequently proved that the groom’s family was at fault. A case was registered against the boy, his father and husbands of his sisters under various sections of the Anti Dowry Act and all of them were arrested.

“I was sad when it did not happen, but am relieved to have got out of it,” said Flitty. “It’s a fact that, in our society, we can’t avoid dowry. But at least we have to be satisfied with whatever the parents give. Who would like to enter into a relationship, where money is all that counts,” she says.

Flitty says many of her married friends had called to congratulate her. “They say I should thank my stars that the marriage did not happen because many of them are suffering silently,” she said.

The story of Sreekala and Flitty will no doubt motivate others to act. That is any way becoming inevitable in a state, where dowry harassment and deaths of newly married girls are routine.