Knowing that the elections were around the corner and feeling that sudden urge to serve my nation, I decided to visit my party’s headquarters to get a ticket for contesting the Legislative Assembly elections.
There was a long queue but I decided to wait for my turn. At 7 pm, someone shouted my name and I was ushered into the room where three members of the party selection committee were present.
I said: “Sir, I want to serve the state and have come to offer my services”.

One of them asked me, how many crores in cash I would be contributing to the party funds. I replied that I was a pensioner and all I could give in the service of the party and people was time and selfless effort. One of them broke into a loud guffaw.

Then another asked me if I had any record and when he knew that I had not understood the question, his colleagues clarified whether I had any police record to which my response was a very loud and emphatic ‘NO’. They could check it out. I had not been touched even for a minor traffic offence.

“If you don’t have any police record or murder case, how will the district authorities or the people even take you seriously? You see, the locals must know that they better stay on your right side for their own good. We are not looking for new bachas. We need seasoned players.” Being a goon was a boon, was the message.
They were nearly yawning when the last question was hurled at me and that was about my qualification. I proudly said that I had done masters in political science. That put paid to my ambition in politics when one of them very patiently explained to me that the majority of people who were in politics were high school drop-outs. I was over-qualified for the job.

When I was leaving I overheard one of them tell another that it would be a good idea to have filtration committee so that their time was not wasted on all and sundry.
As I walked out, I saw a truck pass by with “Mera Bharat Mahan” printed on the rear dashboard and I sighed.