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Deccan Herald » Articulations » Detailed Story
Humour f0r the day
Canine colonial hangover
S Raghunath
The late Dr H Narasimhiah was renowned as a relentless crusader against superstition and obscurantism amd he was equally dead set against those of his countrymen who talked to their dogs in impeccable Kings English and affectionately bestowed on them high falutin English names...

The late Dr H Narasimhiah was renowned as a relentless crusader against superstition and obscurantism, but till I heard him on the radio a few days prior to his passing away, I did not know that he was equally dead set against those of his countrymen who talked to their dogs in impeccable King’s English and affectionately bestowed on them high falutin’ English names.
But I would submit that the crisis facing an Indian dog lover is a grave one. Let no one in his right senses rashly challenge an Indian dog lover’s principled anti-British stance nor impugh his patriotism. Perforce, he has to give his dog an English name for there is a severe dearth of purely ‘swadeshi’ names for dogs. Dogs are notoriously snooty and strait-laced, indeed they are past masters at “putting on the dig” and canine snobbery comes naturally to them. Try calling your pet ‘Munna’ or ‘Rajoo’ or ‘Babloo’. He will walk away disdainfully, his nose in the air and leaving you looking foolish. Change your tack and call him ‘Rover’ or ‘Tommy’ or ‘Miggles’ and see for yourself that mercenary tail wagging merrily.
So the unpleasant and unpalatable truth must be stated plainly and unequivocally even if that offends the prickly sensibilities of flag waving nationalists and that is – Indian dogs are incurably hooked on English names and to rub salt into the raw wound, they do not have the slightest intention of being apologetic about it and kowtowing to the pro-India patriots. Offhand, I can recall just one purely ‘desi’ name for a dog and that is ‘Ramoo’. That is what every urchin owning a mongrel calls his ward. So the problem is solved so far as the male dog is concerned, but what if it happens to belong to the female of the species? Can you possibly call her after one of the many heroines from Indian mythology? A name like ‘Urvashi’ or ‘Ramba’ readily suggests itself, but such a mindless course of action would surely arouse the ire of those protoganists of ‘hoary’ Indian culture and possibly set off street riots. So it is a storybook catch-22, no-win situation and the only honourable way out is to promptly fall back on that good, old reliable-King’s English and call the dog ‘Queenie’ or ‘Penny’ or ‘Julie’ and neatly round off a vexatious conundrum.
Yes, I agree that it is a crying shame that even after 60 years of independence and throwing off the British colonial and imperial yoke, we still talk to our dogs in English and give them English names and I would certainly lend my unstined support for a mass movement for the ‘Indianisation’ of dogs’ names, but till such a people’s movement gets off the ground, I will continue to call my dog ‘Duke’. 
                                       

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