When you are a little girl you want to secretly emulate whatever she's doing — whether it is putting on her lipstick, trying on her shoes or playing ‘kitchen’ with your toy set of utensils. When you are a teenager, you want to be as far away from her as possible. You think she is rude, interfering and has no business poking her nose in your life. When you get married, you remember all those times when you were probably rude to her and vow to have a better relationship. 

Mothers and daughters. There’s simply no explaining this relationship. The only thing that can be said is that it is more complicated than the mother-son relationship. And that’s saying a lot.

This bond that’s already stronger is tested most when the daughter gets married. It is the time when perspectives change and relationships take a turn, sometimes for worse, sometime for better.

Says Prathima Bhatt, a 26-year-old homemaker, " After my wedding I could relate to so many aspects of my life with my mom than my dad. When I was young, dad was this super-hero who could solve anything easily. But as you grow up, you realise both parents are vulnerable and after my wedding, I felt it was my mom who could empathise with me on most situations of my married life."

For someone like 45-year-old Kasturi Shah who lives alone and is a professor in a medical college, "Mothers are someone in front of whom you can show your true colours without any inhibitions. She's a mirror really...you seldom bother how she would react if you are rude, or moody, or temperamental.  You have the assurance that even if she sees you for what you are (whatever you are), she will care for you unlike others."

Most women in their 20s and 30s say mothers have that edge when it comes to listening to daughters’ basic yet vital concerns. It could be domestic issues, getting work done from the tailor, cribbing about the maid; no matter how petty your crib is, it is only mothers who will hear you out.

According to Nandini Hiranniah, a working professional in her late twenties, "It is the girl-girl connection. My mom has undergone what I am going through in my life. It could be dealing with my in-laws or domestic emergencies, I know, she's someone I can rely on anytime."  Some feel technological advancements like the advent of cell phones has strengthened the mother-daughter bond. For others, it is advantage of living in the same city that makes them drop by their mom's home once or twice a week. For Saraswathi Rao, a homemaker in her early 50s " I longed to see my mom often but the only mode of being in touch was letters. Today, however I find my relation with my daughter a lot better due to the fact that she can come over anytime at her convenience. The fact that she is married and managing a different home makes me concerned about It is not only marriage that’s the turning point for this relationship. Careers too have turned out to be a factor where women find support from mothers. Many women want their daughters to be successful professionally as well, as they want daughters to achieve all that they could not in their lives.

From the daughter's point of view, the best thing about mothers is that they are wonderful ‘sounding boards’! A friend can be busy in her own life, dads may find some matters too trivial to talk about but moms will take that extra effort to make you feel comfortable and hear you out.

Explains Dr Yeshashwini Kamaraju, a psychologist in NIMHANS, "It is natural for mothers to be closer to their children as the bond begins right from the womb. Women find it is their mothers rather than fathers who support them the most in matters like choosing a partner or changing a career. "

Women may have improved their lifestyle, climbed the corporate ladder, become moms of grown-ups but in their heart of hearts, they will always be mommy’s little girl.