In the olden days, it was a rigid custom to marry off girls before they attained puberty. Girls were barely 10 or 12, sometimes even younger! The quintessentials of the daughter-in-law’s accomplishments included being well-trained in household chores — especially in cooking and rangoli-drawing — being able to render devotional songs, and above all, implicit obedience!
Kanyadaan was literal in every sense. As such, a major part of the girl’s life would be spent at her in-laws, and moulded according to the customs of that household, her only respite being the three months of bananthana or the child-delivery at her mother’s place. By producing offsprings, more so sons, her foothold in the house would gain recognition. Eventually, with the marriageable-age extended, the advent of educated brides set in. This came as a breath of fresh air to the women of modern age on the one hand and resulted in unbidden rumbles as the girls shocked their in-laws with their independent views, on the other.
But the volcano really erupted  when working women crossed the threshold as brides. Substantial salary infused self-confidence. This, burgeoned by exposure to modern trends and thoughts, was further reinforced by peers at work places. Finally, this led to the shaping of her personality into the real shakti that stood to be contended with. As such, gone are the days when daughters-in-law could be taken for granted and treated as doormats, more so if their boy also toes her line. Today, the in-laws particularly look out for high-tech girls with a hope of bettering their standard of living.
Silent tussle of personalities usually follow the honeymoon. Mundanity of everyday life sets in, amidst divergent familial outlooks and rigid expectations. Is the girl to be blamed, if she finds herself pushed around, if the carefully tended individuality is indifferently rent, and the anticipated adjustment to various individuals with no blood-bond, proves too much at that unpliant age?
With kerosene cases emerging under the guise of suicide, divorces increasing,  government-rules looming, women’s organisations sprouting and working women’s hostels beckoning, a new dimension has surfaced in the Hindu marriage-market.
Changes in dress-codes have also created much ruckus. How can we — of the 21st century —  become docile daughters-in-laws of the old and efface our individualities entirely, is the common stand of today’s girls echoing the muted cries of their sisters, who are the silenced victims of the tradition-bound-family structure of the past. Confronted by such a dead-lock, elders are frantically trying to mould themselves accordingly. What a change!