Remember Summer with Monika, the sexually explicit 1953 film of Ingmar Bergman portraying the adventurous summer of Harry (Lars Ekborg) and Monika (unforgettable Harriet Andersson) spent in a boat? Remember the messy embittered end of that wild live-in relationship in a boat when it culminated in marriage? The Sweden of 1953 is no different from India of today.
 Once bitten twice shy seems to be the new mantra in man-woman relationship of the no so young population now instead of the often hugely farcical and asinine “till death do us part”.
 You need to check out, calculate and then take the final leap of tying the knot, believes the not so young urban India. Not just the young urban India but quite a few middle aged and even old couple is going for live-in relationships. And as per a 2006 survey, 28 percent of Indians feel it is okay to stay with a person you love before you get married.
A section of Indians might raise a storm over Khusboo’s comment over pre marital sex but there is no denying of the fact that the concept of Indians vis-a-vis the institution of marriage has undergone a paradigm shift. Marriage is still a sacrosanct institution but one can indulge in that only if one is completely mentally prepared and dead sure about the partner’s commitment. However hard we might try to turn our backs but live-in relationships are definitely happening today.
 Take the case of Manini Sharma. This 42-year-old divorcee had been staying with her colleague Amit for over a year. The affair was passionate right from the start until there was the entry of the third woman. The memory of Amit’s infidelity burned a scar in her heart like a bad tattoo. Manini could not take it any more. She walked out. She could afford to do so easily as she was not in a marriage but in a live-in relationship.
“This is the precise reason why most of us are opting for living together. We are not sure about us or our partners. And it is no point getting into a lifelong relationship unless you are dead sure,” says TV reporter Sujatha who is in a live-in relationship with Vinayak her colleague. “Of course, the final destination ought to be marriage but I am really not sure. After all I had tried it once and had failed,” she says.
 Her partner Vinayak feels that the obvious benefit of live-in is that you get to know a person before making a lifelong commitment. But then in some cases familiarity breeds contempt and getting to know a person too much before marriage makes it a bit difficult, he believes. “And also the fact that you have many options available makes you greedy and look out for more,” he adds.
Living with the boss
 Agrees 42-year-old Smita Agarwal who is living in for the last three years with her boss Suresh. “In live-in relationships tolerance levels are very low. It is so easy to break up. In my last relationship I had been staying with this guy for four years. One day I returned from office and found out that he had just packed his bags and left. There was not even a note of explanation.”
 “I am not an exception. I know several people who broke up after several years of living in relationship. They went around for a few weeks with some other person and got married. Why? Because too much familiarity could breed contempt and they did not want history to repeat itself,” she says.
 What makes these middle aged couples go for live in relationships? In most cases they have usually tasted once the bitter experience of marriage and are not willing to go for a second time.
And in many other cases they do not have to live up to anyone’s expectations and are independent to take their own decisions however radical it might be. Also most of them are keen to avoid the publicity associated with marriage and prefer the quieter live-in option.  Says Chandra who is in a live in relationship with Shyam Sharma: “We have been friends for several years. Now both of us have lost our spouses whose memory we cherish. Nonetheless we cannot think of staying alone the rest of our lives. And therefore we are in this relationship and it suits both of us.”