In this life, why is it that some succeed and others fail?  Why is it that some generate kindness and equanimity and others hold tight to what they believe is theirs at the expense of others' freedom?  According to His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama the answer has to do with attentiveness to reaching the goal of life-enlightenment.

 "We need to be always careful in our thoughts, words, and deeds," the embodiment of compassion teaches, "It is here that attentiveness, or mental scrutiny, keeps us on our guard, so that when we are on the point of committing a negative action, we are aware that we are in danger of doing so and are therefore able to apply the appropriate antidote."

Have you noticed how sometimes you think one way and speak another way and do something completely opposite?  For instance, an unwanted intruder whose negative thoughts wear you down may drop by and instead of turning that person away, you find yourself rendering an enthusiastic welcome, all the while wishing you could get back to your duties.  Wouldn't it be simpler to have thoughts, words, and deeds coincide?  

  The Dalai Lama suggests, "Attentiveness is thus a watchdog, preventing us from doing anything negative.  At the same time, it keeps us mindful of positive actions, so that our Bodhisattva (one who aspires to liberate all beings) activities increase and we are able to develop bodhichitta (mind set on attaining enlightenment) in all circumstances."

So cherishing others can sometimes mean saying no to them. His Holiness makes it clear that "the root of the Bodhisattva's discipline is to avoid any selfish attitude.  We should never pursue our own interests while forgetting others or do so at the expense of others. Of course, our body and speech are involved, but we are concerned here mainly with the mind. It is within this context that a Bodhisattva, whose mind is clear, stable, and completely under control, is able to work for the benefit of others in ways that might otherwise produce harm.  The main discipline, therefore, concerns the wrong doings of the mind."

Developing an attitude of attentiveness requires daily practice, the noting of one's behaviour at all times.  The living Buddha reminds us, "Nothing is more important than guarding the mind.  Let us constantly keep watch over the wild elephant of the mind, curbing it with mindfulness and vigilance. This is how to avoid being influenced by different external conditions.  But even in retreat in a very secluded place, if the mind is not kept under control, it will wander all over the place. Even completely alone, we can have an enormous amount of negative emotions."