Dear Madam,

I am married and have a 2-year-old child. Since marriage my wife has not worked, as she had to look after the child. She hasn’t worked before marriage too, even though she is a qualified B.Sc graduate. Now we want to know -  since she is 27 years old, will she get a job, and if so what line? Does she have to brush up any skills for this? We don’t want her to go into the BPO line as it involves night shifts.

Also, is it advisable that she starts work now or looks after the child for some more time, or put the child in a play school and think about taking up a job.

Please let me know your inputs on this and how to balance this in our family and the job opportunities available at her current age.

Johnson
 
Dear Johnson,

Before I answer any of your queries, I have a question of my own. Is you wife a participative member in making this decision? When you say, ‘We don’t want her to go into the BPO line.’ – Who is the ‘we’? Your wife is a thinking, feeling person and has the right to be involved in the process of making the decision.

Coming to your questions: There can never be a clear-cut black or white answer, as these are debatable issues and varies from person to person and family to family. At best I can say that you as a family should make the choices after weighing the pros and cons based upon what you as a family value most in your life. If you write down the pros ad cons it will help you to evaluate better. I am of the opinion that you wife will have to do some ‘value additions’ to her basic degree based on the career path she wants to take. Age is no bar, if one really wants to do something.

Dear Madam,

I am a 19-year-old boy and have completed my PUC. I am a hardworking student but I always get below average marks. I had to write PUC twice due to many arrears. I don’t know what the problem with me is.

Somehow I fell in love with a pretty girl – a one-way love. She is doing her BE since I lost one year. I lost something I loved. I lost my career and I am suffering from severe depression. I cannot forget the one I loved. I don’t know what to do now. I have to continue my studies. Your suggestion would be encouraging.

BBY

Dear BBY,

I believe the main reason why you are not doing well is that your English is very weak. (I had to correct quite a bit of your letter) Language is very important for learning any subject, so you must do something to improve your reading comprehension and writing skills. One of the best ways to improve is to read a lot and consciously do transcription to absorb the sentence structures.

Now, honestly ask yourself, whether you did work hard for your PUC. By your own admission you say that you cannot forget the loved one. So most probably instead of studying your subjects, the pretty face must have been looking at you from every page. You need to put an end to this obsession of yours. Also, you do not really love her for if you did, you would have worked hard and well, to be worthy of her love. You need to understand that ‘love’ is never one sided as it is a decision two people take together. You are attracted or infatuated with her.

Please do not make yourself out to be a hero by saying ‘I lost something I loved!’ How can you lose something that you never had in the first place?

So snap out of this feeling sorry for yourself and get on with your life. The choice is in your hands!

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