There is no “w” in the Malayalam alphabet. We make do with “v” quite happily. So when the local tea shop owner shouted “vith or vithoutte?” the question was understood perfectly. In words ending with consonants such as”t”, the consonants are always doubled and are said as a separate “tte”. “But, with or without what?” I asked. “Sugar, ofcourse”, explained my friend.

Now-a-days everyone is so knowledgeable about diabetes and the need for avoidance of sugar that no cup of tea or coffee passes muster without this clearance. And even when you go visiting no cup that cheers will come your way before a discreet whisper by the hostess “Sugar, hmm?”

There is another important “vith or vithoutte” which is much more difficult to address and that is the matter of salt. Some of us, who have been saddled with hypertension, have to be careful about salt intake. But how do you tell your hostess that she should play the miser with the salt, because you happen to be hypertensive. One has just to go easy on the curries!

Then there are other “vith or vithouttes”, less common though equally important. Take the case of “vith or vithoutte” non-vegetarian dishes. As of late more and more people are becoming vegetarians on particular days of the week.

This variety of “vith and vithouttes” turned out to be a nightmare for a hostess who innocently planned to have a little get-together for some friends.

She thought her favourite chicken lasagna recipe could win the hearts of her visitors. But three ladies refused to touch the dish because it was their “vithoutte” day – their vegetarian day. Because her dinner menu had been built up around her lasagna she had no compensatory dish to offer those ladies. The poor woman was crushed.

Once my husband and I were roundly berated by a friend who proudly asked us to partake of her excellent prawn pulav. My husband and I said we would skip that item as we are both violently allergic to prawns. Our friend was furious. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she exclaimed.

Wise after the incident, I now tell my hostesses that on Mondays I am a vegetarian and on all days I stick to a non-prawn diet. That is the one permanent “vithoutte” in my diet!