Speaking at an inter-school and inter-collegiate level seminar on ‘Enhancing parent-adolescent relationships’ organised by the Family Cosmos Forum of School of Social Work, Roshni Nilaya, here on Thursday, he said due to lack of guidance of elders, adolescents are following the wrong track. 
College principal Dr Jacinta D’Souza said adolescents need much guidance of their parents. 
Delivering her lecture during the first session of the seminar, School of Social Work, Roshni Nilaya, Mangalore Department of Medical and Psychiatric Social Work HOD Dr Rameela Shekar said human tendency is to point out negative aspects, but relationships start forming when one talks about positive aspects.  
Adolescence is the mid-point in anyone’s life where the person concerned does not want to be put down in any way. Disciplining and love goes hand-in-hand. But while disciplining, criticise the act and not the person. Adolescents need an empathetic realisation that they can make decisions and this is what they have to be taught. Unfortunately, most parents do not allow their adolescent children to take decisions for themselves, she lamented. Many a times, instead of guiding their wards, parents suggest things garnishing it with scoldings and advice. This will not work, as what they require is a patient hearing instead of labelling, she explained.
Parents must realise that in the early stages for children, ‘parents are always right’. Later, ‘the teacher is always right and in the next stage, ‘friends are right’. The fact which they must take in their stride is that parents become old fashioned and children go to any extent to please their friends, she pointed out. Giving tips on parenting in an OHP presentation, she advised parents to educate themselves about the adolescent stage of life. Secondly she said parents must talk to children about the sensitive issues early so that no tragedy such as sexual abuse befalls them. Thirdly, she suggested parents to have realistic expectations and help them achieve it. Fourthly, she explained that monitoring and spying are totally different things. Monitoring the progress of one’s wards is necessary, but spying will spoil the whole purpose. Respect their privacy and nurture the adolescents self-image, she advised adding that there is nothing like generation gap, but communication gaps do exist.
In the following session, NIMHANS (Bangalore) Department of Psychiatric Social Work dealt with the topic ‘Understanding marital relationships and its impact on adolescents’ followed by another session in which KMC (Mangalore) Department of Psychiatry Associate Professor Dr Elizabeth Daniel dealt with the topic ‘Psychological problems among adolescents-helping strategies’.