The first on my list is always Mahatma Gandhi. Though I never accepted his religiosity nor his views on drinking, diet or abstinence from sex, I tried to make him my role model because he never told a lie nor hurt anyone. It was the yard-stick I used in gauging men and women who were close to me. Many of them returned to religion in later part of their lives. I did not hold that against them.

More than Bapu Gandhi or my friends, it is books I read that influenced my mind. On top of my list is Bertrand Russel (1872-1970) born aristocrat with a very high IQ. He won a scholarship to Trinity College, Cambridge, became a mathematics wrangler and then Fellow of the College. His first love was Mathematics.

He wrote “I like mathematics because it is not human... it possesses not only truth but supreme beauty, a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture beauty - a beauty of our weaker nature, sublimely pure and capable of stern perfection such as only the greatest art can show.” (Principa Mathematica).

It makes no sense to me. Neither does mathematics. I can’t even make additions. But Russel wrote a lot of books on subjects as diverse as history, justice, religion, peace, marriage (he married four times, kept many mistresses, sired bastards), morals, down to lipsticks, cigars and wife-beating. He wrote hundred of articles for papers and gave interviews for radio and TV channels. He was awarded the Nobel Prize for literature.

What impressed me most was Russel’s views on religion. He lost his parents while he was still a child and was brought up by his grandparents who strictly conformed to the Christian faith. He discarded all religions while he was still in college and became the most vocal champion of atheism of his time. He practiced what he preached. When appointed to a Chair at the City University of New York, he made his students recite with him “We do not believe in God. But we believe in the supremacy of humanity. We do not believe in life after death, but we believe in immortality through good deeds.” A lady took him to court. His lawyer described Russel’s writings as lecherous, libidinous, lustful, venal, erotomaniac, aphrodisiacal, irreverant, narrow-minded, untruthful and bereft of moral fibre.” The judge agreed with the lawyer and ordered Russel to be sacked and deported.

It was the sort of treatment he relished. In England he was jailed many times for leading pacifist demonstrations against developing nuclear bombs, condemning the US for waging war in Vietnam, calling Kennedy a murderer for threatening to declare war on the Soviet Union if it tried to set up bases in Cuba.

Most people would go along with Russel but not have the courage to speak out as boldly as he did. I share his views on religion but I know most people feel more comfortable conforming to beliefs, rites and rituals on which they have been brought up: conformity avoids tension and conflict in the family; so why break away from it and flirt with rebellious idea? I leave them to themselves. I do not do any more than air my views seated in a comfortable arm-chair in an air-conditioned room.

Good logic
A bright young lawyer was pleading for his client on trial for burglary. “Your honour, the evidence shows that my client did not enter the room at all. He merely inserted his arm through an open window and took a few trifles. His arm being only part of himself, why should you cause his whole body to suffer because of one offending member?”

“Very well,” said the judge with a twinkle in his eyes. “Your logic is good. I therefore, sentence your client’s arm to one year in jail. Your client may accompany it or not as he pleases.”

Whereupon the defendent unscrewed his cork arm, laid it on the judge’s desk and walked out.
(Contributed by Shivtar Singh Dalla, Ludhiana.)

Engagement
A pretty nurse broke her engagement to a doctor. The ditched medico asked her to return the engagement ring and other presents he had given. “Do you mean to say, “exclaimed another nurse,” he actually asked you to give back all his presents?”
“Not only that,” replied the young nurse, “he sent me a bill for 36 visits.”
(Contributed by Shivtar Singh Dalla, Ludhiana.)