The board of D Company was gathered for an emergency meeting.

The Head Recruiter spelt out the crisis— “Ever since the UP Assembly elections were declared, we have been having a tough time getting new recruits.  I am now behind by 50 % on our fresh induction levels.”

“Why is that?”  asked No 2.

“All our potential recruits have been booked as likely candidates by the political parties. There is not a single leading kidnapper, dacoit, extortioner and murderer left untapped.”

“What about the youngsters ?”

“They are no longer attracted by our pay structure. The other day when our recruiting team offered the standard Rs 20,000 per kill to a sharpshooter from Etawah. He laughed derisively and retorted that he could make twice that for merely capturing a booth for a political party in the forthcoming  elections.”

“It’s not just recruitment,” grumbled the Human Resources Head. “Our attrition rate in the veterans category has shot up now that coalition governments have started offering Cabinet posts to criminals. Just yesterday our Kidnap Chief in Delhi quit saying that he had been sent a feeler about joining the Centre as a Minister of State.

When I remonstrated he threw me a counter asking whether we could ever give him an opportunity to make a few hundred crores in just a couple of years. For good measure he added that the same police officers who were now after his hide would have to salute him in his new job.”

The Head of Operations nodded glumly and added, “This criminalisation of politics is having  a deleterious effect on our discipline. Recently one of our men came back to the fold after two years when his party lost power in a defection game. When I sent him for making a collection, he paid me only 85 per cent of what the builder had shelled out.  On being questioned he had the temerity to say that as a politician he had got used to milking 15 % of any deal for personal purposes.”

“That’s nothing,” snorted the  Chief Strategist. “The other day I almost lost an entire territory in Mumbai to a rival  gang  because our man at the helm there, another  returnee from the world of politics,  announced that he was defecting with half of our enforcers in that area to the rival gang because they were offering a higher position to him.”

“Our monthly take is going down,” groaned the Treasurer.  “With our fellows becoming  City Councillors, MLAs and MPs by the droves, our marks have started approaching them to settle issues instead of using us. At this rate we will not have any business left and that too when we have to up our salaries to attract talent away from the politicos.”

D, who had been thoughtfully listening to this litany of woes  without interrupting, suddenly cleared his throat.  All voices stilled and everyone looked at him.

“Gentlemen,” intoned D, “ it is apparent that with the criminalisation  of politics, crime no longer pays. Politics does. As the adage goes, if you can’t lick them, join them. So, here is my plan.” Thus was born the D Party.