I am a management person and therefore I am writing this piece but I am also a part time counsellor for emotional traumas like anxiety, depression, relationship issues, stress, low self esteem etc.

I am now wearing the counsellor’s hat and want to share a few perspectives. That majority of us perform below our potential is a fact well known but what is not known that managers often end up short changing themselves by reducing even that potential by wrong methods, not out of spite but out of ignorance.

Some examples will help. Loss of potential happens because some of our people have low confidence and self-esteem. The causes of that may be many and this is not the place to go through them. Out of low self-esteem comes poor performance. I better not ask anyone for advice. They may laugh at me. They might say, “You fool, you don’t even know that much?” People hide themselves and do what they can do and when their superiors see their work, all hell breaks loose.

The lazy approach
And it comes on these forms. “I don’t know why I gave you this task. You are good for nothing. I should have saved my time and given the job to Deepak. He would have done it in a jiffy.” The three most debilitating Cs – of comparison, criticism and condemnation have been applied right and proper by the superior, often in public and in the presence of colleagues. Whatever little confidence the person had before get shattered into pieces. This is a lazy way at best and irresponsible way at worst to set the wrong right. What the person needs is building is self confidence. What he or she needs is encouragement. What he or she needs is hand holding and what he or she needs is investment of time and empathic treatment by coaching, guiding and taking a vow that I will make this uncut diamond shine. 

The way to do is to talk about what was done right and then help the person to improve upon the effort. The opposite end of the scale is the over confident category. They have answers to all the issues. They believe that the organisation, nay the whole world owes them the best. They stutter around. They need mentoring and guidance to break away from their belief that the whole globe revolves around their navels. They want to be in the limelight and often shifting the limelight away from them appears to me a legitimate strategy.

‘My way, best way’

Let us move to another category. I am sure you have met them. They are the passive aggressive lot. They are usually intellectually brilliant and loners. You will see them locked in their workplace. They will not say much but their body language will tell you the following story. 

I know that my way is the best way to do it. No, your way will not work. And whenever their way is not chosen, they go into passive aggressive mode of silently destroying the project, delaying the process or giving incomplete information and frustrating those around them that ‘Since you did not choose my way, you go and ride on the highway is their unspoken message.’ This category is difficult to detect because they are silent operators. Here the best approach is to decide on the merits of the issue consistently and soon they realise that passive aggression is not working for them. There is another lot which show self before service as their motto in life. They tend to create a sense of co-dependency.

Give them some projects and they will, just enough to stay out of trouble and inch along, but make tall claims of progress until you have no choice because handing over the project to another is worse than the current option. Show them the door because the demoralise who are putting in their best.

Maintain equality

But whatever else we do, the most damaging thing we can do in an organisation is to convey a feeling that there are different strokes for different folks. A sense of equity and justice must prevail. Lest I create an impression, that most of our people fall in these categories.

On the other hand, my firm belief is that most people are good, need the right context, encouragement and motivation. But as we are not aware of the psyche of others, we might act as managers, being part of the problem rather than the solution.   
  
The writer is an independent HR consultant and can be contacted on deekayjogs@dataone.com