It was 8 am on a Friday and Deb Caruana, 51, a personal trainer in Manhattan, had just finished working out with two of her clients, Jackie Greenberg, an interior designer in her 30s, and her father, Ronald Greenberg, 59, an art dealer.
The three were chatting when Caruana, who is in menopause, suddenly blurted out, "I'm having a hot flash." The conversation lurched to a halt, followed by uneasy chuckling. "It was awkward, but then it was funny," Greenberg said. "I did a double-take: 'Did she really just say that in front of my father?'" Caruana, though, was unashamed. "Why hide it?" she said later of the episode, which occurred in March.
Thirty-five years ago, television viewers were shocked by a landmark episode of "All in the Family" when the normally meek Edith Bunker wreaked havoc on everyone around her because of a condition then delicately referred to as "the change of life."
But these days, among people of a certain age, references to menopause are just as likely to come up at a dinner table as comments about the bouquet of the merlot. "Five years ago, women would have kept that to themselves," said Greenberg.
"Women who used to feel inhibited don't anymore. They are honest about things they were never forthright about before." More than that, though, many women are flaunting their menopausal symptoms. If they are not erupting in the literal heat of the moment, they are making jokes and wry quips punctuated by knowing winks.
“The wink-wink reaction is a way of saying, 'I've been there, girlfriend,'" said Jeanie Linders, 58, the writer and lyricist of "Menopause: The Musical." The farcical play, with songs like "Stayin' Awake/Night Sweatin'" and "Drippin' and Droppin,'" made its debut in New York in 2001 and has since been produced in 150 cities and nine countries, with an audience of 8 million to date.
And the joking is not restricted to friends. Last December, Beverly Mahone, 49, of North Carolina, had a hot flash in a checkout line at the supermarket. Madly pulling at the front of her blouse to cool off, Mahone said she exclaimed to the woman behind her. "It opens up a whole dialogue," Mahone said. "We're laughing and making women who feel less comfortable know that it's OK. We've embraced it. It's our exclusive club."
