The abuse of dowry laws against husbands and their families is nothing new to the City.  But the increase in their numbers is definitely worrying. The constantly ringing phone bell at Asha-Kiran, a leading men’s helpline operating from M C lay out in Vijaya Nagar testifies to this. 

The legal dice is  definitely loaded against men and they are now at the receiving end in a big way, laments  the helpline’s president B N Saraswathi.

“We receive between 25 and 30 calls on a daily basis apart from a minimum of five personal visits from men seeking help for the harassment they face at the hands of women. We used to receive a mere  four to five calls a day when we launched the service four years ago,” she said.

A majority of calls  are from men based in the City while a few do come even from Indian men in Canada and US seeking help for their parents and siblings in India, she adds.

Sarawathi has taken up cudgels on behalf of many victimised men and has accompanied them to many police stations too.

“What  I am deeply disturbed about is that if a woman lodges a complaint, there is no initial investigation to verify the truth behind it.  She is offered a seat in the police station while the man is made to stand like a culprit and is taunted and abused roundly by everyone around, regardless of whether he is guilty or not. Immediate bail is also not given,” says Saraswathi.  ‘’This creates much trauma for an innocent individual,” she added pleading for this kind of discrimination to be done away with.

She cited this incident involving a couple from Tamil Nadu that took place at B T M Layout recently as a case in point.

A woman software engineer committed suicide by hanging herself after a two-and-a-half month marriage. “Despite her suicide note clearly stating that her husband was in no way responsible and her unhappiness was with her life and job, a case has been filed against the husband and his family. After a jail stint of nearly a month before being let out on bail, he is jobless today with the case also pending against him.” The irony is that he was deeply in love with his wife and does not know what to do with his life now.

‘’I have seen many cases where the  husband has been threatened by the woman to do what she desired or face the consequences in the form of a complaint under the Domestic Violence Act, 2005 or a dowry case under sections 498 (a) of IPC, “ she said.

“It is also very distressing to see women demanding a divorce and insisting on a settlement in lakhs.” The law is misused by them to force the man to walk out of his parental home and live with her or even to force him to buy what she wants,  the president said.

Onus on women
“There seems to be no love in marriage in a large number of cases. This is the case between newly-weds or even those married for 15–20 years,” she adds.   Much counselling has to be given for couples  on how to run a marital relationship smoothly going by the break-up of relationships we witness on a daily basis.

It is very important that a woman thinks through very carefully before marriage about the relationship she is entering into—whether whether she is willing to live with her future husband’s parents  and related issues. Or the woman can opt to marry a man who lives singly., the activist said.

It is also very important to think very clearly before filing a complaint with the police against the husband,”  she felt.  “Atleast 50 percent of women have lost the patience and tolerance they once had. Education and job  is making them revolt against any form of submissiveness  expected of them.”

 The helpline of Asha-Kiran is  65334135 and website address is : www.asha-kiran.org