A rich couple bring up an abandoned child. The child grows up to be a doctor. The father is cured of a serious ailment by the brilliant young man. “Adoption is such a noble deed!” proclaims everyone in the crowd that goes back from the movie after watching this story unfold.

But, says Padma Subbaiah, “Life is certainly not like the movies.” She says this at the end of the chapter that reads ‘Blood thinner than water’ in her book, Adoption: What, Why, When How.

Co-authored with journalist C K Meena, the book is a helpful handbook for people who have adoption on their mind. The book tries to answer most questions that come to one’s mind: Why must one adopt a child? Should I adopt? Will my relatives accept our adopted child? What are the legal procedures to be followed? Will I be able to love my adopted child? Should we have a biological child if we already have an adopted child? When should we tell our child that she is adopted?

Published by Dronequill Publishers, the book answers important questions through case histories religiously maintained by Padma Subbaiah. In her long career in the social welfare sector, Padma has been responsible for promoting adoption in a big way. One of the pioneers to set up Karnataka’s foster home projects, the author has also helped older children to be adopted. The tireless worker served and later retired as Manager of Mathruchhaya Foundling Home, and continues to be a trustee of Deena Bandhu Trust, another non-governmental organisation. These associations have made her a store-house of information which she wanted to share with others. Adoption is her first book.

True stories
The book came about as a compilation of articles on adoption that the author first published in the Kannada-language publication Udayavani. The English translations have been deftly edited by columnist and journalism trainer C K Meena to make the book readable, clear and refreshing.

“Very often people tend to think that adopting a child is like preparing instant food: you buy a readymade mix, and cook it for a few minutes and voila! It’s done,” point out the authors. Adoption is not an ‘instant’ child, but a life of responsibility and perseverance, they caution. The book itself is no quick, easy compilation. It is a record of true stories that touch a chord in our hearts.

The book neither eggs you on to adopt, nor does it scare you off the idea. Instead, the true stories in the book help you to introspect and arrive at your own suitability as a candidate for adopting.

The book includes chapters on the nitty-gritty, the legalities of inter-country adoptions, the list of placement agencies in the country and the list of voluntary co-ordinating agencies.

Here’s a story that has been stuck in my mind for several decades since I first read it somewhere: A middle-aged woman wonders who her friend’s daughter resembles. The mother says at once, “Oh, she takes after me!” To which the daughter replies softly with a smile, “But Ma, I’m adopted.” The mother says sheepishly, “Oh I forgot!”

Adoption
What, Why, When, How
Padma Subbaiah and C K Meena
167 pages
Dronequill Publishers
Price: Rs.250