A senior State Department official in Washington has been filling in select newsmen in a ‘deep’ backgrounder.
“An organised pattern is emerging”, he said cautiously— so as not to offend the Indian Government— “but we still don’t have anything definite to go by— the crucial ‘smoking gun’ is eluding us.”

Since 1998, an Indian occult tantric and vedic pundit has been operating out of Houston in Texas and presumably his business is to incant strange mumbo jumbo in sanskrit from the vedas and the upanishads, conduct hawans on the banks of the sacred Houston River on Mouni Amavyas day and materialise out of the thin air consecrated ash and lucky talismen for oilmen whose last well has turned out to be a dud, but the US Government has reason to believe that this man who claims to be a god-realised soul having performed penance in the Himalayas for 12 years standing on one leg, could be, in fact, an undercover RAW agent.”

“Has the US Government taken up with New Delhi the question of increased RAW activity in this country?” a newsman asked.

“There has been contact at the highest diplomatic level,” said the State Department official and Prime Minister Manmohan Singh in a personal letter to President Bush has underlined India's commitment to a strong and stable United States but the US Government continues to be gravely perturbed over RAW’s covert operation in this country.”

“Is there any possibility that India's Rohini satellite could be, in actual fact, a covert RAW operation?” another newsman queried.

“All evidence points in that direction, “responded the State Department official, “our tracking stations report that the Indian satellite is making two passes a day right over the President's outdoor sauna bath and we assume that it's taking highly sensitive photographs of Mr Bush clad only in a turkey towel.”

Continuing his backgrounder the State Department official said, “Earlier this year, an Indian astro-numero-palmist entered the United States on a visitors’ visa claiming that be wanted to help improve Indo-US ties by casting the President’s horoscope, gratis and answering any three of his questions, but the US Embassy in New Delhi has reported that this man, who claims to be a Hata Yoga master having trained under Himalayas yogis and sadhus and able to walk on water, could be RAW’s station chief for North America.”

“Just last week, the White House security staff intercepted a bock of cigars laced with Indian ‘bhang’ and ‘charas’ addressed to the President. We assume this to be the handiwork of RAW’s dirty tricks department.”

“There’s also evidence that RAW has infiltrated the Red Indian reservations in Arizona and New Mexico and is instigating the Red Indians to demand Manhattan back from the pale faces.”

“Has the evidence gathered against RAW been processed?” a newsman queried. “No,” said the State Department official,” it’s all raw data.”