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Deccan Herald » Panorama » Detailed Story
Mother Teresas confession: Doubts of a true believer
I have no faith I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd in my heart and make me suffer untold agony, Mother wrote in an undated letter.

On September 5, the Missionaries of Charity (MoC) — the order of committed, self-effacing nuns founded by Nobel laureate Mother Teresa — will complete 10 years without the physical presence of the noble soul, who passed away on this date in 1997. Even as the order’s 4,823 sisters worldwide remain deeply committed to serving the poor, a latest book on her — Come, Be My Light: The private writings of the saint of Calcutta, has triggered heat and debate.
It captures Mother Teresa’s thoughts in one place for the first time, inviting a closer review of her life, 10 years after her death. The book was edited by Brian Kolodiejchuk, a priest who knew the Mother for 20 years and is the postulator for her sainthood cause. It depicts her as a mystic, who experienced visions of Jesus speaking to her early in her ministry, only to lose that connection and long for it like an unrequited love for most of her last four decades.
“I have no faith — I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd in my heart and make me suffer untold agony”, Mother wrote in an undated letter. Mother Teresa was beatified in 2003. Under Catholic tradition, an additional miracle attributable to her must be verified for her to be elevated to sainthood. The point of debate is whether the contents in the book will delay the conferment of sainthood posthumously. MoC superior general Sister Nirmala, who succeeded the Mother as the head of the order, shares her feelings with Prasanta Paul of Deccan Herald on the issue. Excerpts:
Do you think the revelations about the Mother in the book will affect the process of her sainthood?
No, I don’t think it will have any effect on the process of sainthood for Mother Teresa. The revelations about her doubts with religion are not new as the same had been described to a series of confessors and confidants and her ordeal became public knowledge in 2003 during the investigation into whether she qualifies for sainthood.
But the contents of the book have triggered a debate; don’t you think so?
One has to understand the perspective first. They (revelations) are part of our Mother’s spiritual life. It is a path god has chosen for her deep interior purification and transformation.
A delay could generate doubts...
What doubts? You see, god  will choose his own time for the pious event. In people’s heart, Mother will always remain a saint. However, the official sainthood is just one miracle away and so far no miracle has been reported. But we are not unduly  worried about it. We firmly believe that god will decide when it should come.
How long do you think the process could take?
You see one more miracle has to happen for the official confirmation of Mother’s sainthood. It should be a medical miracle that defies human explanation. The last miracle — testimony of a tribal woman Monica Besra (from a village in South Dinajpur district, West Bengal) — of a miraculous cure from an abdominal tumour through Mother Teresa’s intercession paved the way for her beatification.
Please explain the concept of this miracle.
A miracle is studied by doctors and the entire process is very scientific. Even if it is reported in Kolkata, the case goes to Rome. The theologians decide after a study by doctors. Only physical cure of an ailment is taken as a miracle and we don’t have any second case till now. But we are not concerned as God will choose his own time.
Don’t you think the mantle of the Mother, who was the head of MoC, and her legacy pose a big challenge to you?
No comparison with the Mother, please. My way of living up to expectations is simple — just to be myself. I have not filled in Mother’s shoes; that is impossible. I walked with my little shoes in the footsteps of Mother following the way of Jesus. I want to continue her path of devotion and work.
Tell us about the global presence of the order. How many new centres you have founded recently?
The order has opened more than a dozen new centres, taking the total number of homes to 757 worldwide. In fact, we have gone to 14 new countries in the last one decade and with this, we are currently present in 134 nations.
Name some of the new countries where you have set up homes recently.
The new countries include Bosnia-Herzegovina, Afghanistan, Azerbaijan, Togo, Mali, Israel, Thailand, Chad, New Zealand, Finland, Kazakhstan and Algeria.
But operating in countries like Afghanistan involves risks. How are you managing?
True; but god is protective everywhere. There were isolated incidents like in Yemen where three of our sisters were killed by hired gunmen three years back or in Sierra Lone, where our sisters were taken hostage. In Afghanistan, we are working for the handicapped and so far, we haven’t faced any difficulty.

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