“Jail” has been a dreadful term for me (or for that matter, for any soul who enjoys freedom) since my childhood. I could not just memorise the periods spent in jail by the Mahatma or Chacha Nehru or other freedom fighters for my exams and forgot the events.
I used to wonder what it would have been like for them to have spent years in jails, without contact with their kith and kin, without breathing the fresh air and without looking at the beautiful blue sky.
There are millions of people around the world in prisons for various reasons. Taking away one’s freedom is the worst punishment according to me. Even the poorest person on the street would not prefer a prison life, where he would be sure of two square meals a day, to his life of hunger and insecurity out on the streets! I remember suggesting to an old woman — who was being treated like dirt in her home by her daughter-in-law and hence was roaming on the streets, begging for alms from people — to get admitted in one of the charitable old age homes.
She refused flatly and said she enjoyed the freedom that she had, to go where she wanted and meet people. She did not mind bearing hunger to insults of her daughter-in-law. But she could not miss strolling on the streets and meeting the few people, who had concern for her.
Newspapers speak of the plight of only celebrities who go to jail. I pity the millions of others, who are nothing but numbers to us. But as individuals, I am sure, each of them undergoes the same kind of pain or even worse experiences than Sanjay Dutt or Salman Khan. Prisoners without godfathers or followers or fans literally rot in jails. It is sad to hear that there are thousands of undertrails against whom even charges have not been proved, rotting in jails for years.
I actually understand the pains of prisoners more now. Why? Have I gone to jail? Thank God. No. But I am confined to a dingy room without a television, computer, telephone, mixer, my paper, grinder or company in a hot place — for just a few days, though. The worst thing is that I cannot see the sky or the street from any of the funnily placed windows of this room! I came here to give moral support to my daughter, who is finishing her PG course and is upset about the difficulties that she has to handle at home — cooking, cleaning, tackling the irritant factors like the landlady and the maid and all the rest of the things.
I thought I could take care of all that, while she could peacefully finish her course. But the living condition is causing so much depression in me that I feel like fleeing off from here at the earliest. I realise what it is like to live in a jail. If one comes out sane and fit from a jail after years, he should be really strong! Let’s salute our freedom fighters and the millions of prisoners around the country.
“Sudha, you have all the time in the world now. Read a lot, write a lot, sleep a lot...”, say my sisters and friends. How can I explain to them that all these activities need something called ‘inspiration’, which is totally lacking here. Hats off to the great men, who read and wrote volumes in jails. They are a species by themselves! I am after all a normal human being!
Meanwhile, friends pray for this hapless soul to get out of this solitary confinement at the earliest.