All in the family
TRAVEL
Would you prefer a secure holiday with your family? Or an adventurous one with friends? Varshini Murali looks at the best of both options
Every one of us must have experienced a time in our lives when we find ourselves stuck between family and friends.
It remains an ever-present dilemma for our not-quite-fully-matured minds, at least until we learn to break free from the shackles of obligation, or accept them without hope or agenda.
This is an age that begins as the adolescent sun rises; a period that ends only when one gains a certain sort of independence, the financial kind being only one of them.
But before I get sidetracked by any other debate such an introduction can pose, let me dive head first into my core debate: a ‘dependant’ traveller’s holiday with family versus the adventures taken with friends. Which of the two would you prefer?
I can talk of this from an introspective angle, being in a somewhat similar position myself. The student tag has stuck with me for most of my life (until now) and that, coupled with the fact that I hail from a traditional Indian family, has kept me well within this confusing bracket, perhaps with one leg dangling outside.
While travel with family comes with a built-in comfort factor, it may not necessarily be the case with friends. To a large extent, and of course, this comes with exceptions; a memorable trip with friends comes with plenty of ifs and buts.
Like my friend, Manojna, says, “You’d hate your vacation if you were stuck being the responsible goody two shoes who has to take care of everyone else and plan everything out. However, you may even end up having a great time with some incredible people, people who can make a relatively ordinary destination seem exotic.”
A holiday with family can flirt with the fancier side of travel while with friends, a trip may introduce one to the rougher side of living. In my own experience, I’ve realised that a trip taken with parents in tow will guarantee me, selfish though it may sound, of a peaceful holiday.
The marked difference between trips I’ve made on my own versus ones with dad by my side is that in the case of the latter, all I had to worry about was waking up and meeting at the hotel lobby on time.
In contrast, a recent trip taken with my friends to Scotland had a more frugal feel – mostly a backpacker’s affair.
We depended almost entirely on the somewhat rusty, but mostly trusty ‘Megabus’ service to get us to Scotland from London in less than 20 quid, bunked with total strangers in the dorm of a budget hostel, ate an ‘all-you-can-eat-breakfast’ for two measly pounds, took full advantage of the free walking tours, and where there were none, we fished out a borrowed Lonely Planet guide to take us through the sights.
As my fellow Scotland traveller, Shruti, aptly sums it, “A family holiday can be relatively easier as every little aspect will be taken care of, and it tends to be more on the luxurious side. With friends, you become more independent.
You may remain the ‘child’ while on a holiday with your folks, but when you’re travelling with your friends, the adult in you will inevitably take charge.”
Travelling with friends can pose certain other challenges; a lot of how pleasant your overall holiday experience turns out depends on the group of friends you make the trip with. There might be minor issues that need to be ironed out, like bunking arrangements, food preferences, and choice of activity or place of interest.
With family, these issues are addressed beforehand, the egos seem a bit milder and acceptance comes a little easier or faster. In addition, the purpose behind your travel does dictate who you might prefer making the trip with.
As Akhil elaborates, “I would prefer friends to family if the trip were to entail adventure, sports and the works. The opposite would apply if it purely were sightseeing or such eduformative travels.”
As I emerge from a brief flashback on trips taken with family, I realise, with no surprise really, that temples have made up a good chunk of my travels.
I vividly remember the overwhelming scent of flowers, the clanging of bells, and the damp floor upon which I tread, circling the shrine in reverence and repetition.
It may not have been my ideal vacation, but I wonder now, how many can actually boast of having completed the Amarnath yatra or fought with a continuous wave of people entering and exiting the famed Jagannath Puri to get a glimpse of the wood-carved and blackened Krishna, all before their mid-twenties.
Marked occasionally by my whines and resigned sighs, I made sure to never leave without a secret prayer or a whispered wish seeking the good lord’s blessings (for a shorter pilgrimage the next year).
It would be unfair to say that that’s all we ever did. I have just as colourful memories of kicking back with extended family at the Kunigal stud farm, lounging about in lethargic yet pristine Kabini, or better yet, exploring foreign shores.
Financial independence never came along, but opinions certainly found a voice with age (The temples have become fewer in number). But none of the memories would have been possible if not for family. And so, I owe it to them – for they’ve ingrained in me a love for travel.
It’s hard to zero in on a winner when the choice is between a family holiday and a getaway with friends. Most enquiries I’ve made have only coughed up middle ground replies, bordering on the diplomatic.
For instance, Abhay’s approach is to have “the best of both worlds — travel with friends to places that suit your common preferences, and with family to relax and spend some quality time.”
There is no right or wrong choice, really. Much of it is circumstantial. In the end the dichotomous experiences of travel during this phase of our lives teach us, rather simultaneously, the value of some of life’s most sought-after qualities – the strength in independence and the warmth of togetherness.
