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Frown less, smile more

There is stress, anger and unhappiness writ large on most faces we meet. How can we find some solace and smile in our lives?
Last Updated 28 November 2014, 17:00 IST

Look around…Each one of us is grumbling about the world. Some complain about the
corrupt government, others moan about the sluggish economy. Life is an obstacle race for those striving for a better life. Though one makes sincere efforts to swipe away the negatives, events, time and a fickle luck often run against you, and status quo comes back with a double whammy.

Lost in the pandemonium of anger and angst, you might be tempted to dump the positive compartment of your mind and heart. And before you know it, apathy becomes a way of life.

Is it possible to put together a code of behaviour or simple rules, which help one go – one baby step at a time - into that space in your heart where hope, enthusiasm, happiness and empathy for the world live in perfect harmony?

Here’s the modus operandi for your perusal and acceptance, so that you can initiate a healthy and happy change in your life. For starters, happiness does not arrive on the wings of an event or by magic. So depending upon the unreliable sources to create fulfilling or positive experiences, often, brings disappointment. Just as you have to create space in your life for things and objects, you have to create a special nook for happiness.

You need to earn that ‘happy feeling’ by planning your life, rather than just letting work, home and other events “happen” to you. Every night, make it a point to write down your  programme for the next day or week, and make sure to incorporate small or big events that give you peace and joy.

What do you really want in life? This is an act of daily meditation and search. Be sure of the results you want out of your efforts. Pointless efforts are tiresome and lead you nowhere. Know when to give up on relationships, projects  or ideas. The world is full of new offerings and you have every right to enjoy every day of your life. Achieving a reasonable balance between your work efficiency and enjoyment works wonders for your mood. 

It’s absolutely essential to find out what is important to you. By wasting time on unnecessary thoughts and actions, you are throwing away the most important treasure of your life - time!  Do not let others dictate your priorities. Time is precious and needs to be used with great care and creativity. So, what may seem like a ‘waste of time’ – for example, just sitting in a garden and soaking in the peace and quiet – could be, in truth, a huge asset for your wellbeing.

In your mind, paint a portrait of yourself, wearing the colours you love, sporting the look you admire, being the person you want to be. Remembering this picture every day will encourage you to be that image in real life. Experts agree that ‘visualisation’ of a persona is a powerful tool to achieving a dream. However, be flexible in designing your dream persona, home or relationships to avoid the bane of over-expectation.

Resilience is the basic need for achieving your goals. It gives you the handle to redesign your goals and jump over the many obstacles that life throws at you. The debate that you have with your inner self will give you perfect guidelines to achieve your dream. This dialogue should contain self-assessment, attention to your health clock, your limitations and strengths, and support systems. Remember you are your own best friend, and no one knows you better than yourself.

Even in the worst of circumstances, if you can see some humour and have a laugh, nothing can really keep you down for long. Laughter is the best medicine, they say. And with good reason! It is the most effective communication tool, making you part of a group instantly. Be sure to put laughter on your priority list and see the change in your routine. Live and relive beautiful moments of your life and replicate the inner happiness you felt then. Take ‘laughter breaks’ during the day and you will be a new person.

Optimism is a practical way of looking at life. One can only do one’s best and leave the rest – therein, lies the secret to a successful life. No envy, no jealousy, no ill will. Your spirit automatically guides you when you are determined to maintain a positive approach to life. However, like all good things in life, this is not easy to achieve. It is not short of any penance or meditation. So, be prepared to work hard, and success will be yours. Again, try your best, and leave the rest.

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(Published 28 November 2014, 17:00 IST)

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