JOIN USIt’s not really about being Prince Charming or that knight in shining armour. Dorothy Victor makes a sound case in defence of modern-day chivalry. Hear, hear!
“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asks a man who appears at the pearly gates.
“Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offers. “Once, on a trip to the Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, then told him, ‘Leave her alone now or you’ll answer to me.’”St. Peter was impressed. “When did this happen?”
“Just a couple of minutes ago!” Now that’s called foolhardy gallantry, nothing to do with chivalry. To know what chivalry is, you needn’t go back in time to the Middle Ages. Just watch a few classic movies. Hollywood and Bollywood may be worlds apart. Yet, there is always the common theme of the hero sporting, among other virtues, a compelling goodness towards his heroine. He is seen jumping into action to rescue her from a bunch of bad guys. He is her saviour on a cold, rainy day; stranded in the middle of a downpour, he sprints into the scene to offer her a lift home. He is the superman who can carry her heavy shopping bags, lift her car stuck in a pothole and drive away rabid dogs running after her. It could be Jackie Chan or Salman Khan.
And we love these action men. Whether they are sheepishly serenading and pawing their heroines or doing the real action moves, the idea of chivalry has earned big bucks on the big screen. But what about real life? Is chivalry a thing of the past? Is it dead? To the vast majority of people chivalry is, indeed, dead and gone. But then no one is really losing sleep over this loss, right?
On equal terms
Neither the men who have come to terms with the equality they now share with the fairer sex nor the women who have broken the glass ceiling feel the need for the quaint concept of chivalry in the new age. There’s no real need for such overt courtesies to appease the woman of today – liberated and self-sufficient in her new-found freedom.
Again, given the ironic fact that the days chivalry was alive were also the times when women faced great oppression from men, the disappearance of chivalry is looked upon as a sign of women’s empowerment. So, when chivalry is apparently dead, there is not much of mourning. Still, the basic question lingers: Should chivalry be allowed to die? Would the world be a better place for it? Being a term from the medieval times and originally used in connotation with the knights in shining armour, does it really hold any relevance in today’s times?
Then and now
Chivalry traditionally was “the sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valour, and dexterity in arms.” In other words, it is, “the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honour, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.” We can then safely assume that with the fall of knighthood and warriors, chivalry in a modern society is a ludicrous concept.
Even so, contrary to this present notion, chivalry is at the core of men and as such can never go out of relevance, though it must be construed that the concept has been tweaked to suit contemporary times. Over the years, just as in other facets of the human race, there has been a gradual facelift to its precept. With some cosmetic surgery and fine-tuning, chivalry has evolved into a trait so fine that it is still very much an attribute of a gentleman.
Centuries down the line it continues to give men a princely image. Just as a knight in the Middle Ages was expected to temper his aggressive side with the chivalrous side, the modern man is called to mix strength and confidence with a generous dose of courtesy and honour towards women. While Knighthood may very well be a thing of the past, who can deny that chivalrous qualities of the knight continue to show men in a good light? When a man stands for the oppressed, defends the minors, supports women, protects justice and encourages progress, he fosters growth, fights evil, defends truth, safeguards peace and stands for fairness. Should such a man be considered old-fashioned and out of sync in today’s society? Or, should he be welcomed as a waft of fresh air for a dingy room?
The man on the horse with shining armour is anything but quaint to today’s time. Even so, chivalry that goes beyond the man, the horse and the armour is anything but a requisite to today’s time. For chivalry is all about personal reinforcement and personal refinement. It is a reflection of the princely qualities of a common man. It is what makes the common folk into men of substance. It gives status and symbol to a man on the street. As a celebrity rightly put it, “It’s the little boy that kisses my hand, the young man who holds the door open for me, and the old man who tips his hat to me. None of it is a reflection of me, but a reflection of them.” It is, indeed, a reflection of their chivalry.
Chivalry again is something that goes beyond little courtesies and everyday pleasantries. For chivalry stands for commitment, which is the basis for everlasting love. But much against popular belief, it transcends mere courting and romantic love. The embodiment of a gentleman begins and ends with chivalry - the ideal and all-inclusive state of a man in society. Therefore to say that chivalry is dead because it cannot logically exist in an equal society is incongruous. An equal society is, after all, the one that recognises and appreciates the strengths and weaknesses of both genders. It encourages the growth of all in a mutually-benefitting manner.
Supplementing and complementing one another is at the core of an equal society. Thus respect for the fairer sex, as they are still called, including the little courtesies that were meted out to women from the medieval times, is very much in sync with the equal society that we aspire for today.
As author Scott Farrell rightly put it, “Chivalry has an important place in the modern world, and it can provide answers to the difficult questions, which arise in our lives when ethics, desires, egos, commitments and expectations all come into conflict — and those conflicts arise in the classroom as well as the boardroom, on the playground as well as on the highway. Chivalry reminds us that today, anybody can be a hero, and inside everybody is a champion, and anyone — no matter what their age or gender — is capable of being a knight in shining armour.”
So, ladies and gentlemen of the 21st century, let’s not let it die. Equality and chivalry can co-exist. Shall we at least give it a try?