JOIN USWe all have our ‘go-to’ friend with whom we share our deepest secrets, without the fear of being judged. Sometimes, this friend happens to be a person of the opposite sex. And most people wonder if there’s a possible love in the air. That brings us to the question: Can a boy and a girl ever be ‘just friends’? That is, without the assumption of some misconstrued romance or hopes of evolving into one?
A UK study by Professor Emma Renold of Cardiff University and National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) conducted in 2013 highlighted the pressure to turn a close boy-girl friendship into a romantic relationship because of the stigma attached to girls and boys sharing the same interests.
Closer home, there have been innumerable movies where the hero and heroine start out as friends, only to realise eventually how they are meant to be so much more! The message is clear: Friendship is only a stepping stone to true love.
But does it have to be so? Can a boy and a girl not just share a beautiful bond of friendship, without the pressure of romance? Because gender is of little consequence in certain relationships. Friendship is associated with intimacy and vulnerability, sharing feelings and confiding in someone you trust, supporting those you care for.
Friendships mature as you grow older and of course, the dynamics of your relationships change. As one moves into different phases of life, having friends who will be there for you always makes a world of difference. In these ever-changing times, knowing that there are some bonds that are for life can be comforting and reassuring.
In the book Staying Fat For Sarah Byrnes by Chris Crutcher, the friendship between the central characters Eric Calhoune and Sarah Byrnes is rooted in survival. When his best friend Sarah goes into a catatonic state, Eric does everything he can to help find her a cure. He tries to eat as much as he can so that he can “stay fat for Sarah Byrnes”, and he would not stop being a ‘outcast’ with her, for fear of losing her friendship.
As you read their beautiful story of how far someone is willing to go for a friend, it really does not matter that the characters are of opposite gender. All that stays with you is the thought that good friends are like that, with you always. So, when it comes to being your ‘go-to’ friend, gender should not really matter. Don’t let all those people ruin your friendship with their ‘romantic’ ideas. After all, it’s not everyday that you make friends for life.