JOIN USSecurity staff manning companies and industrial establishments often go by instructions given to them. In the process, they miss the wood for the trees. The poor, hawk-eyed guards thus become the butt of many jokes in office circles. The spare-part joke is one among them.
In a cycle factory, the management realised that the spare-parts stock was mysteriously diminishing. They found out that the employees stole them by carrying them in their lunch boxes. So, they introduced a system of checking all the lunch boxes thoroughly at the exit gate, and the theft was effectively plugged.
Soon they realised that the inventory of finished cycles went down unexplained. Many employees could go unhindered past the security, stealing a new cycle produced in the factory, what with the security intently focussed on checking the lunch boxes and nothing beyond that!
Security staff, in fact, play a vital role in safeguarding industrial installations. They not just regulate people entering and leaving the premises, they go around when everyone has left, put out a burning cigarette butt thrown carelessly by an employee, notice snags like a water leak, alert responsible staff and thus nip many hazards in the bud. Their role, though significant, is a thankless one.
They assist the management in collecting information about employees discreetly, so they can floor them at an opportune moment. Unwanted and wrong information collected with vested interests have landed companies in trouble too!
I worked in a 24X7 chemical factory that had many security guards on duty. As employees, we wondered what they scribbled endlessly in their pocket-sized diaries. “To crack the mystery, I snatched a guard’s diary and saw the content,” an impish employee said, and friends yelled, “What was it?” “Ah! He’d just scribbled his wife’s name a hundred times. Mind you, they compile highly sensitive daily report to Top Management with these diary entries,” he replied, leaving everyone in splits.
The SO (Security Officer) who was in charge of the security department was a retired army official with a stubborn belly. He was an interesting and a rather predictable character. Normally, he would come in plain clothes, be friendly and witty. But on important occasions, like the chairman’s visit from the Head Office, he would be stiff, dressed in military attire, and breathe fire down the neck of his hapless team of guards.
Whenever we lost our belongings, say a gold chain, in the factory or township, we would approach the SO with a written complaint and he would shout back: “Did you ever give in writing that you have a gold chain with you?” “No, sir.” “Then, how am I to know that you have lost it now? Next time you buy an article, please inform me. Our Scotland Yard can’t find even a lost elephant here. So why bother?” The staff would laugh away SO’s wise counsel.
Everyday, during the morning shift, there would be a parade by the security guards outside the security office. As the lean and frail guards struggled to survive the gruelling session, employees walking past the spectacle would giggle and comment, “This is our great Wagah Border Show!”
Right in the midst of the parade, the canteen boy would wheel his kiosk, carrying hot tiffin with spicy sambar and chutney, coffee and tea and deliberately position it close to the parade venue. “Attention!” the leader would shout. But, the sight and smell would make the guards stand in an uneasy manner. And, understandably so!