Never too late...

When a woman reaches 30, it is presumed that she is settled in life — basically, married with two kids and a comfortable job. Following one’s dreams and carving out a career niche in your 30s isn’t something that is considered normal, at least for women. The priorities usually revolve around the family for every woman — being a good wife, a good mother, a perfect juggler of personal and professional lives and so on. Yes, kick-starting your life after 30 is a concept that is still in the nascent stages. But ladies, it’s not completely off the radar yet, as there are many women leading lives that don’t conform to conventions.

‘Me’ first
Today, for many members of the fairer sex, it’s all about making personal choices that don’t necessarily fall in line with the stereotype of the ‘ideal 30s’. Instead, the choices and decisions are based on her personal needs, temperament and values. One of the biggest advantages of pursuing happiness, good health and peace in your 30s is that the process is more efficient. Because by then, you are likely to know what you want and also have a good sense of your capabilities.

Wiping one’s savings at the age of 35, reporting to a younger boss and still paying rent while most of your friends are halfway through their home loans doesn’t scare many women today. They are actually choosing this life, shunning the safer route.  Here are some inspiring real-life stories of women who have dared to live the life they chose.

Vera Singh, a 45-year-old radio professional, decided to quit her job when the organisation refused to allow her to work on a part-time basis. She had recently adopted a daughter, Vasu, after going through nerve-wracking legal proceedings for two years. In no time, Vera started training aspiring radio professionals. “My only commitment is my daughter. I have also ventured into the food business and I am glad that I struck out on my own rather than relying on those who eventually let you down.”

For Aakansha Sethi, a management consultant, going back to school in her 30s was a totally different ballgame. At the age of 31, she enrolled for MBA in finance, even though she had carved a niche for herself as a financial journalist. She says, “I got more out of college life the second time around. This time I wanted to study merely for the joy of learning. Even though finance was my beat, there were concepts I couldn’t understand — such as financial markets and regulations. It was indeed exciting to learn why a stock moves.”

Sometimes, you may not know what you are seeking, until you quit your purposeless, joyless routine. Although Shivani Prabhakar liked marketing films, it didn’t give her any satisfaction. At 36, she quit her job with a production house in Mumbai. Her focus was on yoga, reiki and holistic living. One day, her neighbour asked if she could conduct a trial yoga class for him. After that, through word of mouth, she managed to take private classes for people. Slowly, she was able to approach a yoga studio. The freedom from a ‘nine-to-five’ job also allows her to pursue another passion, travelling. Pondering over her financial insecurity, she confesses that she lives on rent though it has been drilled into our heads that we should own a house by the time we are 30. “When faced with lifestyle envy, I remind myself this was my choice — freedom, peace of mind and space to develop interests. Finally, I am living the life that I always yearned for.”

Peace over security
Having worked as an HR manager in an IT firm for 12 years, Pooja Rao no longer found mental stimulation. She felt everything was on auto-pilot, leaving her unchallenged, which is when she resigned and joined a Pilates class. Having found her fulfillment there, she decided to be a Pilates trainer. “I find this more satisfying than the time when I was at the top of my professional game in the corporate world. I do tell my girl pals that if you have good savings, use it to get the financial courage to explore a higher purpose rather than spend it on a lavish wedding,” she chuckles.

When life coach Shivani Khetan walked out of her marriage, she yearned for a non-judgemental support system. Blamed for the failure of her marriage, she struck upon the idea of Expresso, a platform where strangers can meet and interact. A woman being afraid of the stigma she brings to her family is not new. But when she reaches a point when she cares less about society and more about her life, that’s when real freedom begins.

“I started working on being financially independent as soon as I moved out of my husband’s place. Even in the divorce settlement, I made sure he contributed to our daughter’s future only, as I didn’t need any alimony. I had always followed my heart even before I heeded to my true calling. During my marriage, when my husband and I went to see a therapist, I had begun adding on to my qualifications with courses in hypnotherapy and neurolinguistic programming and stepped into corporate training. The business was booming as well. It’s another thing that these sojourns created stress at my in-laws’ place. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I decided to end it,” explains Shivani.

There are many more such examples that you could find tucked away in varied corners of our country. In the end, no matter where you come from, all that matters is your comfort. Your marriage may not work the first time or you may not be happy with the ‘nine-to-five’ job schedule. Or maybe, you need that ‘nine-to-five’ job very badly. It all depends on your needs and choices. Ladies, age is just a number. Don’t let that come in the way of leading your life to the fullest.