JOIN USIf Christmas and New Year are here, can gifts be far behind? Ideally a gift is a token of love and appreciation, without compulsions of any kind. In practice though, what happens is something different.
A gift,as the very word shows, is built around ‘if’. Unless the implications of this are clearly understood and kept in mind, a gift will not achieve what it is meant to – bring happiness to both giver and receiver.
Gifting is a part of many cultures around the world. What is so special about it? A gift can achieve what words sometimes cannot. It can convey ‘Thank you’, or ‘I’m sorry’ in a way that verbalexpressions do not. It is also visible and longer lasting.
A well-chosen gift given with affection can never fail to please. However, this merely highlights the best part of this practice. There are aspects to it that are far less pleasant. Some gifts are obligatory by nature. They are given because it is a must. During weddings, for example, lists mentioning the approximate cost of the gifts are maintained, so that they can be reciprocated when the occasion arises. Such gifts are also likely to be circulated. Even worse are those that carry ulterior motives. They are given in order to promote business. Then there are those that can only be described as bribes. As a shrewd businessman put it, ‘Every person has a price and the art of business lies in knowing what that is.’ Gifts with strings attached can bind a person, making him a prisoner of wrongdoing.
The best gifts are not the most expensive; neither are they wrapped. They come from the heart and go by the names of love, sympathy and forgiveness. I would like to illustrate this with an experience I had recently. A few years ago, I resigned from a job.
Two months later I was requested to rejoin as no suitable replacement had been found. I agreed to a four-month stint. At the end of three months, a young woman walked up to my desk and told me she was joining the next dayand to please hand the keys over to her. Taken aback by the abrupt nature of termination, I walked down to the office, met the person in charge and told her that I was leaving that very minute.
She gave no apology or explanation for what had happened. I left vowing never to return there or condone her thoughtless behaviour. The years passed and we met at a gathering. Though she approached me, I reacted with decided coldness. Then I met her again.
She came up to me and made kind enquiries. My long-standing grudge melted and I began seeing her as a person who had simply made a mistake. A wave of forgiveness washed over me and with that I experienced the blessedness of release. Gifts of the spirit are indeed twice blessed – when you give, you also
receive.