JOIN USUrgently looking for a suitable boy…” goes the meme — with a lovely picture of a pretty girl — “to manage the office at my new startup”. Gender stereotypes are here to be broken.
This year began with a fascinating online series (that lasted a fortnight), interestingly called ‘The Spoilt Modern Indian Woman’. With crowd-sourced pictures and quirky taglines, the campaign’s challenge was to break the official pigeonhole into which Indian women are often put.
We need to stop buying the myth that there is gender equality – it isn’t a reality yet. There is no denying that women are worth every second at the office and even more at home. Women are the reason houses become homes.
Less equal
It’s easy enough to claim that there isn’t really gender inequality in today’s society, but reality proves otherwise. Right from the early morning chai and newspaper, it’s the lady of the house, in most homes even today, who is expected to set the ball rolling. She wakes up earlier, much earlier than the rest of the family to make sure that everyone else gets things right for the start of their morning.
Maternity leave no longer comes as a welcome respite from work. Because inevitably, when new mothers get back to work, they notice that they’ve been sidelined from potential promotions and are no longer up for prime projects. Call it what you want, but life at work sees a huge change once you’re a woman with a family — you’re the one calling in for a day off when your child is sick, you’re the one calling in for a day off when it’s Open House at school, and you’re the one answering that call when your child has to be picked up from school early. Not to forget, you’re also the one expected to take an ageing parent for his/her medical checkup.
Religious places are clearly not the only place where men and women are treated differently. From the boardroom to the kitchen, paychecks between men and women are still not balanced. In 2012, the Ministry of Child and Women Development had, in fact, proposed that homemakers ought to be paid a share of their husband’s monthly salary for their nonstop work at home. Can you imagine how that would change the dynamics at home for someone who’s ‘just a housewife’ ?
Sheryl Sandberg, in her book Lean in: Women, Work and the Will to Lead, talks of how “gender stereotypes introduced in childhood are reinforced throughout our lives and become self-fulfilling prophesies. Most leadership positions are held by men, so women don't expect to achieve them, and that becomes one of the reasons they don't.”
What would it take for a woman to actually say “I want this, and this is how I do it”? What would it take for a woman not to crack a silly joke when praised for her
accomplishments? What would it take for a woman to say “this is the money you need to give me every month to run the house as well as go out with my friends” instead of “please could you give me a hundred bucks to buy eggs and milk” and return the change?
History has recorded numerous women of power from Cartimandua of the Brigantes to Rani of Jhansi. Of course, although our dress code has undergone a serious transformation, who we are as women essentially has not. However, over the centuries, the constant need for women to prove themselves as worthy competitors both at work and at home has simply increased. Society dictates that the smart girl, who finally made it to top-level management in her firm, must also have a sparkling clean house with perfectly well-behaved children who not only ace all their school tests, but also
finish their vegetables.
Truly 50-50
“Planet 50-50 by 2030: Step It Up for Gender Equality” asks governments to make national commitments to address the challenges that are holding women and girls back from reaching their full potential. A movement that began on International Women’s Day 2015, ‘Step It Up’ is now a huge campaign globally with programmes on violence against women and girls to close the gender gap in terms of law as well as national action plans.
McKinsey Global Institute released a report in September last year that stated “if every country matched the progress towards gender parity of its fastest-improving neighbour, global GDP could increase up to $12 trillion in 2025”. Tennis courts and Bollywood (or Hollywood for that matter) are no longer the only places where women demand equal rights and equal pay. However, even as experts deliberate the pros and cons and countries pledge their contributions, what really does this mean for the average
Indian woman?
Does 50-50 mean that she no longer has to be the one to do the dishes late at night, does it mean she gets the same curfew at night as her brother does, does she get a choice in whom she marries or where she lives, does her husband apply for a transfer at work because she’s shifting jobs, does she get to take a girls’ night out once a week with her friends because she needs it too? More importantly, does the Indian woman find herself worthy of all that she deserves and actually demand her share of the pie?
It’s all very well to have a fancy model mouth that lovely phrase in a commercial, but how many women really believe that they are worth it? Do we allow ourselves to be loaded with work, stay uncomplaining and not fight back? Do we think our role is to stay at home while men stay out late because they ‘need a break’?
Things, however, seem to be looking up now, especially with this January’s ruling in the Delhi High Court that stated women have the right to be a family’s karta or main family member with equal rights of inheritance.
Last year, Emma Watson, of Herm-ione Granger fame, set off a ‘HeforShe’ campaign with a fascinating speech at the UN to promote gender equality “what we share is more important than what divides us.”
So, this eighth day of March, give the head of your home a break. Surprise her with morning tea and the newspaper as you take care of the day’s meals. Book her into a spa for an all-day session and organise her evening out with friends. Help out a little more with household chores and family, long after International Women’s Day has been forgotten; help yourself more often instead of expecting her to cut every slice of apple you eat, get you every glass of water you drink, and pick up every piece of paper on the floor.
‘Step it up’ just a little more, step into her shoes for just a day and see the world as she does; gauge the needs of the family as she sees them, before she even considers her own needs. Because, quite frankly, in the words of the lovely
Beyonce, “who run the world? Girls!”