Let the reason be love...

An argument ensued each time the issue came up.  I had told her umpteen number of times that I would never consent to this one hankering of hers. Yet, the young girl, resolute and pushy, perhaps sure of a mother’s heart that would eventually give in, never gave up.  Time and again my daughter brought up the subject of a pet dog. Not a natural lover of the canine family, I gave her a long, convincing list against the idea.  “It’s too much work and a big concern when we are travelling,” I reasoned. She soon realised that every one of her counter arguments was getting nowhere through my deaf ears. Finally, in desperation, she tried this one last strategy: “But mom, the dog will love you.”

Did she hit the nail on the head? Dogs are perhaps the only animals that do not have to do a thing to receive our attention. They just need to be themselves, love machines in animal bodies. Unlike a horse that has to pull a chariot or a canary that has to sing for its master, nothing is expected out of a dog. Yet, the dog gives it all — itself, its attention, its service, its love. Ever noticed how a dog will spring to its master after the latter has been out for a while? Can anyone miss the love it showers on him on his return? Observe the way it will wag its tail, lick its master’s face, come around him in circles, simply going gaga over the man’s mere presence. Kick it for bad behaviour or punish it for disobedience and the canine takes no offence. All it can do — and indeed does to perfection — is to love, love, and love. It is no wonder that dogs have the distinction of being one of the world’s most favourite pets.

The magic cure
Indeed, it is official. The legendary Beatles put a tune to it: “Love, love me do…please, love me do!” Everybody wants it; nobody can have enough of it and yet, in contemporary times where money is regarded as power and leading a frenzied life a symbol of success, expressing natural human emotions such as love has gone out of vogue. As Francois de La Rochefoucauld, the celebrated French author, rightly put it, “True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.”

The need to constantly be on the move, shifting to higher gears, reaching greater decibels and running from one activity to another consumes man to such obsessions that, currently, love, the way it was meant to be shared by the human race, has lost its sheen and relevance. Even so, as long as the human heart ticks, should not love be its rhythm?

Years ago, Dr Charles Menninger, a renowned American psychiatrist, along with his two young doctor sons, Karl and William, tried an important experiment, defying traditional methods. At a time when the “rest cure,” which meant that the patients were sent to institutions where they might remain their entire lives, was prescribed as a treatment for both psychiatric disorders and physical ailments, these doctors did something different.

They built a small sanitarium on a farm outside Topeka, Kansas, USA. What distinguished their sanitarium from the rest was that theirs was not an impersonal one. They worked towards creating a loving, family-like atmosphere among their patients and staff. Their vision was to grow a community of doctors, nurses and support staff that would cooperate to heal the patients; a place where a patient’s mental health would be as vital as his physical health.

To achieve this, nurses were given special training and were told, “Let each person know how much you value them. Shower these people with love.” Rather than being sent to a place where they were warehoused for life, many of the patients received more love and kindness at the Menninger Sanitarium than they had ever experienced before. And it worked miracles. The experiment was a resounding success and the Menninger’s revolutionary approach to healing became world famous.

“Love cures people,” Karl wrote (he went on to pen numerous books and become a leading figure in American psychiatry), “both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it; for, we do not fall in love, we grow in love and love grows in us.” His work demonstrated just how true that statement is.

Discovering fire
Love’s infinite power has fortified every human weakness, provided courage in darkest moments, encouraged drooping spirits, strengthened failing nerves and been the single most impetus for man to conquer fear, despondency and animo-sity. It has aided man in transcending misfortunes and struggles since time immemorial. It has helped the human race overcome barriers, forge deep bonds, live in compassion and harmony. This age-old tool of human connection is, however, beginning to show cracks in contemporary times.

Just as an implement that is not put to regular use rusts, the instrument of human love is being corroded for want of its full use. Somewhere down the line, this wonderful sentiment of love is underplayed, underestimated, undervalued and underused. Modern man has given to other worldly trappings; the glow and gleam of love has been made redundant, giving rise to intolerance, hatred, oppression, terrorism and war.

So, it is time that this magnificent weapon, that has the power to reach out, connect, influence, conquer, heal and restore peace, sans all the destruction, is not reined in by conflicting demands, but put to its maximum use. The starting point to this end is to ‘send’ love to others before trying to ‘take’ love from them. Such a practice will enhance the human ability to generate unconditional love and to see ourselves in others, which will eventually lace every encounter and relationship with harmony.

This will also result in generating more love and respect for ourselves. For, loving ourselves and loving others are two sides of the same coin. When we do not love ourselves, we begin to abuse ourselves.  We get addicted to things that are harmful for our bodies and souls and begin a downward spiral in life. On the other hand, when we focus on our magnificence and nurture the love for ourselves, we free ourselves from unwanted addictions and can truly celebrate life.

Let us make sure then to express our love for others. Let us make haste to develop, foster, possess, and share the power of love. For as Teilhard de Chardin, the French idealist philosopher and Jesuit priest, rightly observed, “Someday, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love. Then, for the second time in the history of the world, humankind will have discovered fire.”