Press Esc to close

No room for skeletons

Lakshmi Palecanda Feb 3 2018, 23:47 IST
Last year, I faced a great personal crisis. This is the story of how I worked through it.

Last year, I faced a great personal crisis. This is the story of how I worked through it.

Last year, I faced a great personal crisis. This is the story of how I worked through it. Gentle reader, you will be moved, conflicted, confabulated, eviscerated and exalted by this story: this I guarantee you. Okay, so you will be disgusted, horror-struck and fed up. But these are just semantics. Let's get down to the nitty-gritty.

One fine day last year, I was getting ready to go somewhere. Being my usual planned, calm self, I was panicking with five minutes to spare, and I still had to get dressed. I opened the door of my wardrobe and my world exploded. No, there was no bomb or dead body in my wardrobe. All my clothes were making a break for it.

I stood there with colourful clothing strewn as far as my eye could see, like Scipio amidst the ruins of Carthage. I am severely myopic, so my eye couldn't see very far. Yet, I knew that the time had come. I had to downsize. In a voice constricted and constrained by the huge lump which had developed in my throat, I told my husband the bad news: "I have to let it go."

"It is going to take time, many years," he said. Ah, the love of my life had understood the deep and abiding love I had for my possessions, I thought. When I figured out that he was talking about my losing weight, I left the place in deep disgust.

I went back to the wardrobe and began to plan my strategy. I would first segregate clothes into wearable/fitting, and non-wearable/too big-too small. Almost immediately, I ran into problems, big ones.

First off, the wearable pile was extremely small, while the non-wearable loomed like the entire chain of the Himalayan range. The reason was absurdly simple. Like a cyclonic cloud, I too tend to gain and lose volume. I had kept buying clothes through the various stages of my expansion, as a result of which I had clothes of four different sizes.

Then there were some outfits that had been gifts. What if the gifter realised that I had regifted their gift to me? Those went in the 'keep pile'. Then there were the ones that had been expensive. I kept them, too. Then came the ones which I had got in sales.

"Of course, I won't give you guys away!" I told them, cradling one outfit like a mother cuddling a newborn seven-month preemie. "You were a steal!"

I took a look at the piles. Huh, quelle surprise! There wasn't much in the 'give away' pile. I still had an ace in my sorting sleeve. I was going to divide the clothes based on the memories they held for me. As it turns out, it was a bad idea.

It appeared that every piece of clothing held an indelible memory for me! This was all the more surprising because I have horrible short-term memory problems. I have been known to stand in front of the open fridge for minutes on end, letting all the cold air out, while I try desperately to remember why I have opened the fridge in the first place.

Came evening and nothing had moved. Except me. I was moved to despair. And then, I had an epiphany.

For the size problem, I would give away all the clothes that didn't fit. When I lost weight, I would just buy new clothes! This itself thinned my pile considerably. As for the rest, I ruthlessly put aside sentiment and mercilessly discarded really old and tacky stuff. I had to blink away tears initially, but it paid off in the end. My wardrobe had breathing space at last. I swear, I'm a reformed soul now. No more binge buying, no more hoarding, no more...

Uh-oh, I've got to finish up this piece. You see, I've got a sale to go to. They have a 'Buy One, Get Two' offer! It's going to be a steal.

Go to Top

More from this section
Most trending stories
Photo Gallery
A view of Sunder Nursery at Hazrat Nizamuddin in...

A view of Sunder Nursery at Hazrat Nizamuddin in...

Mahila Congress activists make 'pakodas' to protest against alleged unemployement...

Mahila Congress activists make 'pakodas' to protest against alleged unemployement...

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and First Lady Sophie Grgoire greet visitors...

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and First Lady Sophie Grgoire greet visitors...

Gold medalist Mariama Jamanka of Germany gets lifted by silver medal winner Lauren Gibbs...

Gold medalist Mariama Jamanka of Germany gets lifted by silver medal winner Lauren Gibbs...

Union Textile Minister Smriti Irani addresses a session during UP Investors Summit 2018 at...

Union Textile Minister Smriti Irani addresses a session during UP Investors Summit 2018 at...

A helicopter is seen flying over the besieged town of Douma, Eastern Ghouta...

A helicopter is seen flying over the besieged town of Douma, Eastern Ghouta...

Transgender Shanavi Ponnusamy arrives at the chief minister's cell at...

Transgender Shanavi Ponnusamy arrives at the chief minister's cell at...

Lufthansa tests humanoid robot 'Josie Pepper' at airport...

Lufthansa tests humanoid robot 'Josie Pepper' at airport...

Chief of the Air Staff, Air Chief Marshal B.S. Dhanoa presents a memento to the...

Chief of the Air Staff, Air Chief Marshal B.S. Dhanoa presents a memento to the...

Alpine Skiing - Pyeongchang 2018 Winter Olympics - Women's Downhill Training...

Alpine Skiing - Pyeongchang 2018 Winter Olympics - Women's Downhill Training...

Like us on Facebook

Copyright 2017, The Printers (Mysore) Private Ltd., 75, M.G Road, Post Box 5331, Bengaluru - 560001
Tel: +91 (80) 25880000 Fax No. +91 (80) 25880523
Powered by Yodasoft Technologies Pvt. Ltd.