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Let go of your fears

Last Updated 23 February 2018, 16:55 IST

The best new year resolution I came across was this "if my ego prevents me from evolving, I am gonna remove the 'E'." I think that sums up any new year resolution. We all resolve to ultimately grow isn't it despite our fears trying to supersede us.

Now listen, it's not important to have a new year resolution, instead just deal with all your fears head on. You are on auto-pilot mode towards a favourable change. What scares you the most? Ask yourself, and make a decision to face it.

Confront your inner desires and shed all your inhibitions. Yes, it takes guts and your heart will say no, as it doesn't want to get hurt. Tell that special someone you love him. Bungee jump despite your vulnerable back. Life is short and reincarnations aren't something we get to see.

You don't have to be perfect to start things in life. The point is to begin somewhere. Let go of your fear that things won't work out. They will.

In reality, confronting any fear is a process and it comes with its own steps, rhythm and methods. The right way to do it is to design a strategy that actually leads you and allows you to achieve your objective. Here are a few strategies for confronting fears effectively:

Reflect on the cause

You should ask yourself the question, "what am I really afraid of?" and write down all of the things that pop into your mind in response to that, as absurd or unrelated as they may seem.

Who said fears are always unreasonable? So what if you're afraid of water because you don't know how to swim? Or maybe you are afraid of wild animals because you think they are stronger than you. Other fears, though, can be irrational and come from sources that are unknown and difficult to identify. For example, fear of insects, or of heights even.

What you should do is try to identify and familiarise yourself with your fear. Don't struggle against it. Instead, accept it and face it from every possible perspective.

Investigate the source

Almost all phobias are associated with a lack of awareness, or some unknown cause. If you are afraid of love, read as many books about it as you can. Stay informed about what others think of it. Do this with anything that makes you feel fearful or intimidated.

When you are scared, you feel incapacitated and miserable. In fact, sometimes your fear even makes you forget everything you are capable of doing, and everything you are capable of confronting. Fear operates like a worm that eats away your insides and causes you to feel like your hands and feet tied, like a person with no power to act.

Change your perspective

Think about all the things you do on a daily basis that demand strength and character. Sometimes, it is easy to lose sight of the fact that simply getting up in the morning to carry out the day's obligations requires several abilities and virtues. There are always virtues and strengths that you put into practice day after day.

So remind yourself about those. Recognise your own values and strengths. In fact, be the opposite: appreciate, with no false modesty, the attributes without which it would be impossible to endure your daily routine.

There is no compulsion to overcome your fear all at once. Rather you can take minor actions and little steps to achieve this. If you truly want to let go of whatever you are afraid of, the only commandment you cannot break is this: "Never, for no reason, be passive in the face of that which you fear".

Don't be a victim

Accept that you are always able, no matter how difficult it may be, to tackle your fears when it is time to confront them. That answer may be to evade whatever it is you are afraid of, but the objective is not to do it in a mechanical or compulsive way, but rather in a logical and well thought out manner.

Harvard social psychologist Amy Cuddy remarked that even before we are shown the doorstep of an opportunity, we teem with dread and anxiety. We are so stupid to borrow trouble from a future that hasn't even unfolded.

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(Published 23 February 2018, 06:44 IST)

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