It is important to know about interpersonal relationships. What keeps and what really disturbs interpersonal relationships? The relationship gets disturbed when disagreement begins. Just look at yourself. Have you always agreed with yourself? You had some idea yesterday; today you may have a different idea. Five years back you had other ideas that do not necessarily agree with the ideas that you have today. So when you have disagreement with yourself, why should it not happen with someone else?
The 'someone' you have a disagreement with is just a photocopy of your old or the new self. So you need to take a look at your own thought patterns and emotional patterns; there is a rhythm in them. And there is a rhythm in the consciousness. We need to find a harmony between all these rhythms within us and that's what is called ‘spirituality’.
Spirituality is not fantasising; it's observing your own existence. Have you thoroughly known your body? Experiencing your own body, your breath, your mind, your emotion and the source of your life is meditation. Meditation is experiencing the life force and being conscious of it; and it is done effortlessly.
For maintaining interpersonal relationships, you have to first have a relationship with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is called integrity. Secondly, being informal keeps your interpersonal relationship strong, for it gives space for mistakes to happen. You cannot expect perfection in any relationship or situation.
Today one of the biggest problems with the world is emotional instability. When we create an informal outlook and cordial environment around us, we grease the friction and become the master of our environment and not feel helpless about what is happening around us.
Life is very complex. There is no set formula. When you think that you are very honest, that you are righteous, you become a little stiff inside without even knowing it. You point your finger towards others and become intolerant. When you recognise that there are flaws in you, you are then able to accommodate the flaws in other persons.
That's why it is said, ''do a good deed and forget about it''. Even your good qualities can make you stiff, rude and angry. That is why you should surrender both bad and good qualities.
There are three types of perfection - perfection in action, perfection in speech and perfection in feelings. Many who have perfection in their action and speech do not have that at their feeling level. Some have perfection in their feelings and also speech, but their action will not be perfect. The three perfections are called Trikarana Shuddhi. Meditation is the only way you can transcend the negative thoughts and then positive thoughts will come spontaneously and automatically.