Travelling in the crowded city buses is not an enjoyable experience. Getting inside is an Olympian feat which I have now mastered, thanks to my age and build. Once inside, hovering near the door and yet pretending to go inside when the conductor yells and literally sinking into a seat like a meteor in its death throes is another feat which fetches me a gold everyday. Coming out with bones and purse intact gives me the high of one who has brought glory to his nation.
In the midst of all this jostling and elbowing, for want of anything better to do, I've taken to reading the stickers pasted on the insides of the bus. It's quite an illuminating experience. Sample this, “No investment required.
Work from home. Part time/full time. No marketing. Assured return of Rs 10,000 per week. Housewives, VRS, College students welcome”. Can there be a juicier offer than this? Forty-Grand a month, with the perks of working from home at a leisurely pace with no boss to glare at you.
Then there is this sticker for matrimonial services, “All ages, caste, religion no bar. Over 10,000 successful matches so far. Contact immediately for your life partner …” Whether these “matches” are being played at home or in courts and police stations is anybody’s guess. I’ve even seen a sticker saying “gender no bar”.
“Herbal facials, threading, waxing, eyebrow shaping done by Chinese trained experts. Contact…beauty parlour, number…”. The other service offered is “dying” for those wishing to soar above in an attractive and fragrant way. Bangalore abounds in hospitals offering all medical services under one roof, of course at a price guaranteed to require cardiological assistance. But why not “consult Dr …,30 years experience, FRCS,DCIP,FCPG…, expert in treating asthma, arthritis, jaundice, cholera, acidity etc?”
This “Proctologist” with over twenty years experience can treat piles, fistula, fissures and all other “back diseases” guaranteed to remove the squirm.” Marriage, Job, business, foreign tour etc, for all problems contact Agasthya Nadi, Devi Upasaka, Prof … to unlock the secrets of your future”.
Quite an eyeful for “vehicle and building sore” eyes. But it gladdens my heart to know that help is at hand, just in case.
