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Try to be the best version of yourself

Ask your counsellor
Last Updated 16 September 2021, 11:39 IST

Dear Madam,

I am in I PU and have trouble socialising. Even if I want to approach the teacher for questions, I freeze and I am unable to do so. How do I overcome this?

Gana K

Dear Gana,

We freeze when our brain perceives a threat or danger in front of us. Our primitive brain is tuned to a fight, flight or freeze response whenever we are in a situation that poses a threat to us. So, the thing for you to understand is why you are interpreting these situations to be dangerous or threatening. We have several irrational beliefs about ourselves and the world we live in and these cause us to perceive or detect danger, where none may exist. You may need the help of a counsellor in understanding how you are thinking about these situations and what you can do about it to change your thought process. When we have trouble socialising it is mostly because we are not confident about ourselves and are fearful about other people’s judgment about us. Again, this is helped by understanding your thought patterns and working through them with a counsellor. Please reach out to a counsellor because this can definitely be addressed.

Dear Madam,

I am an average student and I try my best to do well in school. My parents want me to score in the top percentile. This puts a lot of pressure on me. How do I talk to them in a way that they can understand?

A student

Dear student,

Parents put pressure on children to perform well because that is the way they can deal with their own anxiety around their child’s future success. It is important for you to communicate how their putting pressure makes you feel and how it is not helpful, because it is in fact reducing your ability to perform, rather than enhancing it. The important thing for you to remember is that life is not a 100-metre sprint, but rather a marathon – so the goal is not necessarily winning but completing the journey successfully. And your objective should be to be the best version of yourself that you can be. So, focus on the learning and not the marks. Because the learning will stay with you, even if the marks don’t come your way. And by all means believe in yourself and know that it is within your right to be able to express your feelings around this to your parents and request for an open discussion around this. Good luck!

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(Published 15 September 2021, 08:45 IST)

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