We chatted up after a long gap, my friend and I, one bright morning. Before hanging up I said, “Have a good day,” to which she replied with palpable bitterness, “Definitely not! Under my circumstances of having an irresponsible husband, an annoying mother-in-law, a demanding boss, horrible neighbours and naughty kids, my days are anything but good.”
What she was doing, like most others, it struck me, was playing the blame game for her bad days. We blame our spouses, family members, bosses, neighbours and even kids for our unhappiness in life. Yet, if we should only stop to think and take complete charge of turning every day into a good day we will realise that we could have a good day, every single day of our lives, despite our difficulties. For, having a good day has nothing to do with our lineage or even with our current circumstances. Rather it is contingent on our attitude towards others.
It is embodied in our disposition with those around us. It is contained in how we treat all whom we encounter in a day. Thus the day which is filled with a positive attitude concerning everyone, a kind disposition for all and forbearance towards others, will turn out to be a good day, no matter what.
“Every day, do a good deed that will put a smile of joy on someone’s face,” writes Dale Carnegie in his bestseller ‘How to stop worrying and start living’. This, in a nutshell, is the magic formula for having a good day as suggested not only by Dale Carnegie but also by religious leaders and great teachers such as Jesus, Confucius, Buddha, Plato, Aristotle and Socrates, to name a few.
The crux of the philosophy is that the joy we generate for ourselves will be in direct proportion to the joy we spread to others. It could be through a smile, a compliment, a consoling word or timely help. It could also be in being patient, tolerant, gentle and forgiving. When we can look beyond our circumstances and reach out to others in kindness we will end up having a good day ourselves. As Benjamin Franklin said, “When you are good to others you are best to yourself.”