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Sleeping separately is helping a lot of couples who sleep together. On World Sleep Day (March 14), many men and women around the world who love their partners gave each other a tight hug, then made their way to separate bedrooms, and thereby strengthened their relationships.
‘Sleep divorce’ is a happy trend fast catching on, observe doctors and gender-watchers. In our stress-filled lives, getting deep, good-quality sleep for a minimum of 7 to 8 hours every night is fundamental to warding off diabetes, heart disease, obesity, and Alzheimer’s, (but perhaps not burglars.) Sleeping undisturbed on separate beds, in separate rooms, is becoming a sensible way to prevent permanent separation: who wants a partner guffawing over late-night TV when the exhausted other has a demanding day of work ahead?
Who can blame a person looking for some object to strangle the spouse with, snoring away like a factory turbine on the next pillow?
Man/Woman: who sleeps better?
Yes, men and women sleep differently, according to somnologists or sleep specialists. While every baby, especially your neighbour’s, never seems to sleep ever all night, patterns change at puberty. Teen boys can sleep for several days, until woken up by a yelling parent; teen girls get used to waking up mid-sleep early in life; preparing for a future of menstrual cramps, pregnancy discomfort, childbirth demands, postpartum depression, diaper changing, midnight feeds, (often themselves too, with leftover cake) — going all the way to menopause.
Of course, many adult men go through phases of sleep disorders even worse than women; especially if one is a King (uneasy lies the head that wears a crown) or an ambitious corporate ladder climber, who can never switch off his laptop, or himself.
Cure for insomnia
A wise person once said: “I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed”. Aha. The trouble is our own eyes never close. Because there’s Netflix. And YouTube. And that midnight text from your lover. Which you have to reply to. And recheck why he never replied to your reply. And that Kindle novel you haven’t finished for the book club meet. And that Breaking News on your iPad. About the next outrageous Trump doing. And that Bollywood wedding you left midway. And deciding over 12 items sitting in AddToCart. And waiting for the alarm to go off. As you have a 5 am flight coming up…
Meanwhile, Instagram businesses are thriving thanks to our chronic insomnia, with magical dozing-off cures. Camomile extracts to rub over earlobes, Magnesium lotions to rub under feet. Ayurvedic oils to rub around belly
buttons. Then we have Sleep-Influencers too — who start calming guided video sessions on our cell phones by saying, first, switch off your cell phones.
Sleepcations on the rise
Sleep-divorcing couples, I hear, are now going off on sleepcation honeymoons, booking separate hotel rooms, and returning rejuvenated.
What a ‘woke’ idea!
Meanwhile, I urge all those in a relationship to take inspiration from the poet Ella Wheeler Wilcox, who even in the 1920’s had a fine observation that should be framed now and put up in all couple counsellors’ waiting rooms: ‘Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore, and you sleep alone’.
(He Said/She Said is a monthly column on gender issues — funny side up. Reach the author at indubee8@yahoo.co.in)