Bengalureans Metrolife spoke to were ‘obsessed’ with actor Shah Rukh Khan, besides businesswoman Nita Ambani, singer Dua Lipa, and film character Jesse Wallace.
Credit: DH photo
Counselling psychologist Afifa Kauser was once consulted by a Bengaluru artiste grappling with career anxieties, body image concerns, disordered eating and shifting family dynamics. Over successive sessions, she noticed a troubling pattern.
The client followed two rappers so closely on social media that he had “internalised” their life stories and political views, and repeated their phrases verbatim — a phenomenon known in psychology as introjection. He celebrated their milestones as if they were his own, while their setbacks plunged him into sadness. The line between “self and celebrity” had blurred. Through Gestalt therapy and an intersectional lens, Afifa helped him reclaim a sense of self and awareness of his social realities.
This case illustrates the extreme end of a parasocial relationship, a one-sided connection with a celebrity one has never met, a fictional character, or even an AI chatbot. Parasocial is Cambridge Dictionary’s Word of the Year and as per their website, it reflects the zeitgeist of 2025. While such connections were earlier facilitated by television, the access, intimacy and overexposure offered by the Internet have amplified the phenomenon today. People are increasingly turning to individual personalities as authorities, treating them like close friends, family members or even cult leaders, the site notes.
Interest in the term most recently surged in August when pop sensation Taylor Swift announced her engagement to Travis Kelce. The news polarised her fan base. For one side, it was a ‘fairytale ending’ after years of emotionally tracking her heartbreak. Others dismissed it as a ‘PR romance’.
Parasocial v/s fandom
While Grace Maria Jochan, assistant professor of psychology, views fan culture and even limerence (an involuntary obsession paired with the desire for reciprocation) as subsets of the parasocial spectrum, others draw a distinction. Parinitha Shinde, assistant professor of communication and media studies and a new media scholar, says, “In fandoms, you revere someone with little expectation that they know you exist. In parasocial connections, the Internet makes them feel within reach, and you begin to believe the connection is reciprocal.” Parinitha adds that since people are overdocumenting their lives on the Internet, others feel they are an integral part of those lives, even if the connection is secondhand and only through phones. The followers, therefore, feel compelled to defend them, cheer them on, and have a say in their lives.
Help or harm?
Grace says parasocial connections are not inherently unhealthy. They can help introverted individuals express themselves or allow social groups to bond over shared interests. Today, such attachments can even extend to “causes”, such as the recent Gen Z uprising in Nepal. “However, if the attachment begins to affect daily life (studies, work or relationships) or if you feel irritable over developments in the life of the figure you admire, it is time to seek help,” she says. Bengaluru-based Ruby (name changed) would relate. She loves K-pop band BTS but is “a bit upset that they support unethical luxury brands”. The Hebbal resident says the band is otherwise known for social advocacy.
There are other markers of concern too. If this one-sided connection is marked by blind devotion, stalker-like behaviour or intrusive entitlement, that is another red flag, says Parinitha. She experienced this while teaching a class on the male gaze and female representation on screen. “I openly opposed influencer Andrew Tate’s view that women should be subservient. His male fans were visibly exasperated and quoted his ‘beliefs’ verbatim.” She sees a similar suspension of critical judgment among followers of podcasters with alt-right leanings, such as Joe Rogan. “Podcasts have become megaphones for singular viewpoints, stripped of the balance journalism brings. For listeners with similar predispositions, this amplifies bias,” she says.
Trusting AI chatbots as confidants is a concern of the new era, say academics in the city. They have seen students turn to bots for relationship advice (sometimes uploading partner conversations for “analysis”) and for coping with body shaming or the death of a family member. Many place greater trust in the anonymity of AI platforms than in college counsellors. Youngsters in Bengaluru are also engaging with platforms like Character AI, which lets them create AI characters from scratch and text them. The platform is reportedly under threat from several lawsuits over its alleged negative impact on teen mental health.
Ravinandan, an assistant professor of journalism whose PhD research focused on AI, flags the “compliant responses” that AI bots provide. They begin by praising users before correcting them, generating lines such as, “Absolutely right. You are intelligent enough…”. Ravinandan feels this does little to dispel the underlying bias. He adds, “Users keep prompting until the AI tells them what they want to hear. They blame the algorithm for ‘wrong responses’ rather than examining their own perspective. This is risky for women’s autonomy, as men may ignore AI advice that challenges patriarchal views.”
Living in illusion
Experts say parasocial relationships stem from the human need to connect, and rising loneliness in the digital age may be intensifying this dependence. Grace points to sociologist Sherry Turkle’s idea of being ‘alone together’, which captures the paradox of feeling isolated despite being constantly connected online. “Our minds, however, can't distinguish online connections from the real. That incongruence can create emotional confusion,” she explains.
Afifa cautions against the “illusion of a relationship” that these allegiances create. “Real relationships are complex and messy. They involve conflict and different worldviews. Parasocial bonds are built on one-sided loyalty, admiration and emotional investment,” she explains. Over time, this may impair a person’s ability to form real relationships, especially when they begin expecting the same perfection from those around them. Sanam (name changed) is trapped in this ideal. The 25-year-old writer wants a partner like Jesse Wallace from the ‘Before Trilogy’ series, “someone who returns despite distance, time and differences”. “People I date are disappointed by my expectations and I am disappointed they are not like Jesse,” she says.
However, Afifa says that the aforementioned Bengaluru artiste was able to maintain real relationships alongside his parasocial connections with the two rappers. She adds that parasocial bonds can have their virtues too: they can motivate, support self-growth, and help beat loneliness.
And these connections cut across age groups. Afifa points to research showing that children’s habitual interaction with virtual assistants like Alexa and Siri can affect their social-cognitive development.
‘Worrying, but feels right’
Reena, from north Bengaluru, is hooked on the larger-than-life world of philanthropist and businesswoman Nita Ambani, from her clothes to mannerisms and jet-setting schedule to her support for achievers. These days, she scans social media for clues about when Nita’s younger daughter-in-law might announce a pregnancy. She is also deeply invested in actor Shah Rukh Khan. “Many times, I worry about my obsession. They are the kings and I am a pauper. But dreaming and chasing my obsessions feels right to me,” she says.
Content creator Ikyatha Y is also a hardcore SRK fan. She felt an instant connection with the actor after watching ‘Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge’ at age eight. His dimples, his charm, and his crooning of ‘Tujhe dekha to’ had won her over.
Through school, any criticism of him could ruin her day. She would cry or defend him vehemently. Now in her 30s, she says she is more objective and can distinguish right from wrong. But Khan’s achievements, setbacks, and life updates still feel personal to her.
She felt offended when the drug scandal involving his son Aryan broke out; her family and friends wish her on SRK’s birthday. “I am a passionate person, and I can go the extra length for things I feel passionate about. Sometimes in life you need to have fun. I am not risking my life for him in a stampede or writing his name with blood!” she says.