Credit: DH Illustration
Joan Didion, writing about the death of her loved ones, speaks of the grief enveloping her, “When a single person is missing for you and the whole world is empty.” Every one of us have experiences ‘of a missing one.’ We grieve immediately; time, like it is said, is a great healer. We remember them thereafter on anniversaries, before soon forgetting them, which is a good thing since we would otherwise be burdened with sorrow.
However we tend to forget the inevitability of death. We are again starkly reminded of death when people who are in the prime of their lives meet their end. It would, in the haunting words of Emily Dickenson, appear that “Because I could not stop for Death, He kindly stopped for me.” But as Byron has said sorrow is knowledge. We are grateful for being alive and become aware of the small things--the flowers outside, the twittering of the birds, of family and friends, of our own existence.
We become aware of love and loving. We form bonds and develop attachments to people and material things.
We accept what is happening as part of the greater scheme of things. But it is imperative that we do not forget the fact of an end to our existence. This gives our life a context; helps us appreciate life and ensures that we never forget the transient nature of life. Which is one reason why scriptures recommend that you attend and help in cremations and burials.
We celebrate births and wish the new born a good life. But death is a condition of life; for as has been said, death is an act of living. It is only the living who die. So just as we celebrate the arrival of a new born, we should learn to accept death. And the life of the dead.
It is essential that one learns to overcome the fear of death. Religion and spirituality prepare us for, and accept death. When the fear of death fades, better life begins. We can give to society that much more. We learn to get rid of baggage--both material and mental. We can learn to prepare for the onward journey dispassionately. Preparation would also mean ensuring that even as we move on, our near and dear ones will be taken care of. Once we are prepared spiritually and mentally, we are truly liberated. We can step into the unknown with confidence.