From my school days, I could not help joking about my fellow classmates, my teachers, and my neighbours. After taking up a job in a bank I tried my best to control this trait in my character but in vain. Here I want to share with the readers how two innocuous jokes I told about one particular very proud small-minded bigwig cost me dearly.
Mr. Singh, a proud man, took over our office as Deputy General Manager. He always wore a tie. He won't enter his room before trotting around the office shaking hands with the stiffness of a General. It was not enough if you stood up when he approached you. You had to demonstrate abject servility.
DGM sahib was fond of Taj Mahal dip tea which he drank a dozen times a day. One day he was on leave and we were in a relaxed mood. We were talking among ourselves when his subject came up. I said, “as far as our boss is concerned DGM does not stand for Deputy General Manager. It stands for Dip-Tea General Manager” A faithful jackal placed this joke on the DGM table. My name was instantly written in bold letters in his bad book. Even before the heat of my first offence subsided I committed the second and graver offence.
During a lunchtime one of my colleagues wanted to know how on earth the boss walked like a soldier, his chest thrust forward, arms tight and neck erect. I volunteered to solve the mystery. “It should be like this. When he starts for the office in the morning his wife pushes up the knot of his tie very tight. Result! His whole body becomes cadaver- stiff. When he is back from the office she loosens and removes his tie. His original loose- limb- posture returns.” A loyal-lackey relayed every word of my joke to boss’s ear which started burning.
"Do you know who am I? I can burn your career to ashes". He threatened me in front of my fellow staff members.
“If you yourself don’t know who you are, just hear from me. You are a petty-minded mean person without any sense of humour. You may be able to burn my career to ashes but you cannot singe a hair of mine.” I said defiantly and walked off triumphantly. The Dip Tea General Manager stooped and stopped my promotion twice proving that my assessment of his character was right.
Deccan Herald is on WhatsApp Channels| Join now for Breaking News & Editor's Picks