Six tips for post-pandemic parenting.
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My nine-year-old son is an avid reader and always returns from school with a new library book. One day, he told me that his librarian had asked him to pay a fine of Rs 7 for submitting a book 15 days late. I agreed to pay the fine on the condition that he obtain a receipt from the librarian.
With a perplexed look on his face, he asked, "What is a receipt, Mom?" Being a police officer, that too in the anti-corruption wing, I launched into a detailed explanation as to what a receipt is and why obtaining one after paying any money/fund is important. I went on to lecture about the significance of a receipt, without which there is no accountability for money collected and how people may collect. I concluded with how people make a lot of illegal money dishonestly by not issuing a receipt.
After giving a patient hearing to my long lecture—which perhaps sounded more like a sermon to him—my son nonchalantly said a receipt is not needed as he feels that his library teacher is good and he does not doubt her trustworthiness and also added that he did not half understand my lecture or its intentions.
I wasn't about to give up. I said that if he didn’t get a receipt or didn't have the courage to ask for one, I would write a note in his school diary that he must get the library teacher to sign off as an acknowledgement. My son blatantly dismissed the idea and argued that his friends often pay fines for returning a late book without demanding receipts, nor do they get a diary note to ask for one.
Fuming at his disobedience, I threatened to send an email to his headmistress. "The teacher in turn would have to explain to the headmistress if the receipt indeed was not issued," I declared.
My son became upset as he couldn't bear the thought that his good library teacher might be admonished. Just as he was about to cry, his father, my husband, called. My son explained his predicament. His father told him to pay Rs 7 and, while returning the book, to place the library card before her at the same time to make an entry. He was a much relieved child after the call.
The next day, my son followed his father's advice and had the entry made on his card as: "Returned late and fined”. He carried on with his usual chores happily as he had solved the dilemma of having to heed his mother's advice and also not offend his teacher.
This experience taught me that advising children requires love, patience, and understanding. As a parent, it's essential to find a balance between guiding them and respecting their innocence and simplicity.