Reversing rural marriage norms

“As a father, I naturally desire only the best for my daughter. Like any other father, this is my responsibility to see that she is married suitably. . In our community problems are compounded once our daughters cross a certain age. So, what is the point in keeping them unmarried unnecessarily for a long time when matrimonial offers pour in? The earlier they are married, I believe the better it is,” says Bharat Kalindi with an undertone of determination in his voice.
 But Bharat Kalandi’s daughter,   Rekha Kalindi counters her father saying, “To the best of my knowledge, childhood and adolescence are the  stages of life when one is innocent, carefree and ignorant. A young girl needs someone to guide her, share ideas and light up her dreams”.
Rekha adds, “But how far is it justified, if my daughters, before attaining adolescence, are indoctrinated into becoming house-wives, learn to fulfill the duties of motherhood and accept directives of the men-folk in their families,”
She raises a banner of revolt against a misogynistic society  and sounds a clarion call for a change.  As  a teenage girl with direct experience of the devastating effect of an early marriage, 13-year-old girl Rekha Kalindi has become the cynosure of all eyes with her call to resist the status quo.
Day in and day out, along with her cousins she roams about the villages on the West Bengal-Jharkhand border areas. She is busy with her task of arousing awareness among girls of her community. In barely a  few weeks, a brigade of at least 25 girls including her cousins Budhumani Kalandi, Pushapa Kalandi and Sona have come rallying behind her with their support.
Folding her hands, Rekha pleads her cause: “Der aaye par durush aae. (Better later than never). Do not give your daughters and sisters into matrimony before the age of 18. Early marriage can have a devastating effect on the health of your daughter and her baby.”
“My sister was married at a tender age of 12 and conceived four times in three years, but later, none of her issues could survive,” she reveals citing from an example from her own family.
Rekha has become a recognisable face in a number of villages namely Kumhar Pada, Karmkar Pada, Jhalda, Kotshila, Purulia on West Bengal-Jharkhand border areas and according to reports, President Pratibha Patil has expressed her willingness to meet this gutsy girl.
Responding to the question, if her effort will bring about an attitudinal change among community members, Rekha Kalindi replies in the affirmative. “The change is important today and we have to keep up with the times, and move forward in our thinking,” says Rekha, a resident of Bodarola village, Jhalada block, Purulia district, West Bengal. Echoing similar sentiments, Rekha’s cousin Budhumani Kalandi says: “We know it’s not a cake walk for us. But take it from me at least 25 girls of our community including some of them from our family will tie the nuptial knot only after reaching 18, come what may. But we hope that our strength will swell with each passing day.”
“Marrying our daughters off at a relatively young age is not one of choice. Our gravest worry is to sustain them and nuture them. Therefore, almost everybody prefers to marry them off at the earliest,” states Compounder Kalindi, Rekha’s uncle.
In fact, Kalandi is one of the tribal groups found in the state of West Bengal and Jharkhand. Among the Kalandis, a nuclear family is more in vogue than the joint family system.
Their families comprise husband, wife and children. The male members work either in the fields or pull rickshaws, while the female members work as daily wage earners.. But owing to their constant financial hardship, their lives have become synonymous with drudgery.
The courage mustered by a girl whose world was limited to the four walls of her village home and who was brought up in a poor family has taken the villagers by surprise. Rekha has flatly refused to abide by her parents directives, and has turned down a marriage offer at the age of 13 and much to their consternation, she has lodged a verbal complaint with the Purulia Labour Commissioner. Interestingly, Rekha’s parents have also extended support to her campaign after all their initial wrath and pressure of traditon.