<p>My super rich friend from Mumbai has started on his Diwali gifts early this year. “These are tough times,” he grumbled. “What with recession and all, I cannot think of a single thing to send to my friends.”<br /><br />“The sensex has put a damper on everything,” I said. “But I am sure you will come up with something that will make the Ambani bothers wish they were on your A list.” <br /><br />“Ambanis huh? As a matter of fact, I think they are there. That is why I want to plan a special Diwali gift this year. Something they will use and not pass on to their drivers.”<br /><br />“These are not the times for extravagance. Have you thought about return tickets to Monte Carlo?”<br /><br />“No, can’t do,” he said shaking his head. “Wife insists that it’s got to be a practical, useful gift this year.”<br /><br />“That leaves out the Husain paintings for sure. What can you do with a painting except hang it up and look at it occasionally?”<br /><br />“You are so right. And it’s no use sending what I did last year. My wife says she hasn’t spotted any of her friends wearing those three-carat Harry Winston rings.”<br /><br />“How about MUVs filled with crackers? Now that is as practical as it gets.”<br /><br />He shook his head. “All the people on my list have MUVs for their cook’s weekly visit to the market already.”<br /><br />“I suppose a Louis Vuitton set of matched bags will be seen as too trifling?”<br /><br />“My share price is down to what it was when Great Granpa started the company. But come on ‘yaar’, I have standards to maintain?”<br /><br />“I see your point,” I said. “If you don't want to look cheap, how does an IPL cricket team sound?”<br /><br />“Forget it. There are not enough cricketers going. Think, think. I am sure you will hit upon the right Diwali gift for me,” he urged.<br /><br />“How about a neatly-packed custom-designed brick of gold with your crest embossed?”<br /><br />“Got to be a very practical something. Gold will only be hoarded.” He looked gloomier than ever. There is nothing like not finding the right Diwali gift, to make a millionaire feel depressed. My heart bled for him. Then I had a brainwave.”<br /><br />“I've got just the thing. How about a bag full of ‘toor’?” He looked puzzled, “Tour as in eight days, nine nights to South Africa? Last time I sent that, only two people went.”<br /><br />“No. Not tour. ‘Toor’ as in ‘dal’. It’s so expensive that people are settling for black sea caviar instead. But that the non-vegetarians. The veggies are left high and dry.”<br /><br />He looked upbeat for the first time in the morning. “That is what I call an original idea! I am sure no one has thought of it. Are you sure it’s expensive enough?”<br /><br />“Yes. You could even have it packed in designer bags made of cloth of gold,” I said improving on my idea.<br />`<br />“The wife will love this ‘toor’ idea. But get a good designer for the bags. I cannot afford those Rohit Bal types.” <br /></p>
<p>My super rich friend from Mumbai has started on his Diwali gifts early this year. “These are tough times,” he grumbled. “What with recession and all, I cannot think of a single thing to send to my friends.”<br /><br />“The sensex has put a damper on everything,” I said. “But I am sure you will come up with something that will make the Ambani bothers wish they were on your A list.” <br /><br />“Ambanis huh? As a matter of fact, I think they are there. That is why I want to plan a special Diwali gift this year. Something they will use and not pass on to their drivers.”<br /><br />“These are not the times for extravagance. Have you thought about return tickets to Monte Carlo?”<br /><br />“No, can’t do,” he said shaking his head. “Wife insists that it’s got to be a practical, useful gift this year.”<br /><br />“That leaves out the Husain paintings for sure. What can you do with a painting except hang it up and look at it occasionally?”<br /><br />“You are so right. And it’s no use sending what I did last year. My wife says she hasn’t spotted any of her friends wearing those three-carat Harry Winston rings.”<br /><br />“How about MUVs filled with crackers? Now that is as practical as it gets.”<br /><br />He shook his head. “All the people on my list have MUVs for their cook’s weekly visit to the market already.”<br /><br />“I suppose a Louis Vuitton set of matched bags will be seen as too trifling?”<br /><br />“My share price is down to what it was when Great Granpa started the company. But come on ‘yaar’, I have standards to maintain?”<br /><br />“I see your point,” I said. “If you don't want to look cheap, how does an IPL cricket team sound?”<br /><br />“Forget it. There are not enough cricketers going. Think, think. I am sure you will hit upon the right Diwali gift for me,” he urged.<br /><br />“How about a neatly-packed custom-designed brick of gold with your crest embossed?”<br /><br />“Got to be a very practical something. Gold will only be hoarded.” He looked gloomier than ever. There is nothing like not finding the right Diwali gift, to make a millionaire feel depressed. My heart bled for him. Then I had a brainwave.”<br /><br />“I've got just the thing. How about a bag full of ‘toor’?” He looked puzzled, “Tour as in eight days, nine nights to South Africa? Last time I sent that, only two people went.”<br /><br />“No. Not tour. ‘Toor’ as in ‘dal’. It’s so expensive that people are settling for black sea caviar instead. But that the non-vegetarians. The veggies are left high and dry.”<br /><br />He looked upbeat for the first time in the morning. “That is what I call an original idea! I am sure no one has thought of it. Are you sure it’s expensive enough?”<br /><br />“Yes. You could even have it packed in designer bags made of cloth of gold,” I said improving on my idea.<br />`<br />“The wife will love this ‘toor’ idea. But get a good designer for the bags. I cannot afford those Rohit Bal types.” <br /></p>
