When in anger

Instances when words, actions and thoughts veer out of their natural orbit and cause mayhem to many may be due to sheer immaturity or deliberate malice. While the former can be excused a bit, the latter is totally inexcusable and calls for punitive action.

People, who do react impulsively when angered by immaturity or mischievousness, should adopt an anger management strategy or plan for placating their anger diplomatically. However, this is easier said than done because anger is a very powerful, forceful and explosive emotion that bursts out unaccompanied by deep thought. How true is the saying, “Temper is a valuable possession. Don’t lose it!”

Overreacting is not the solution. One must be in a position to make wise, balanced decisions in order to curb and curtail the intransigencies to prevent a bad situation from becoming worse. In such instances, anger may result in the situation descending from the frying pan into the fire. A person retaliating with a verbal outburst will succeed in losing a lot of goodwill and this may cause a lot of bad blood for a lot of people, who will be directly and indirectly affected by it.

So, in moments such as these, it would be wise and prudent to resort to some personality development principles laid down by many a motivation speaker. Many a motivation speaker has said that the speech one would want to forget the most is the one made when one is angry and it can well be the most regretted speech of a lifetime! It can consist of a whole string of vindictive and malicious expletives, and can be compared to a volcano spewing forth hot molten lava from its interior.

Instead, heed the advice of veteran motivational speaker, Dr Bharat Chandra, who said, “When in anger, don’t be impulsive saying the forceful words that come to you. Instead, try the following: Say to yourself when you are really heated up, `Stay calm, stay calm….’ Also, one should try to slowly count to 5, letting the anger subside and simmer. Drink a glass of water to keep the vitriolic emotions in check. Don’t let your anger rule you.

Instead, you rule it.” It would be prudent to discern and remember that words, once spoken, cannot be taken back.

Finally, this last paragraph is about rules on retorting or retaliating, not necessarily only in anger, but in every situation in life. Whenever one is about to speak, one should measure and weigh one’s words by making one’s words pass the 3-question test. The first question is, “Are the words true?” The second question is, “Are the words necessary?” and the third question is, “Are the words kind?” If one’s words (and particularly one’s angry words) pass through the questions three, one should not have any fear what the result of speech may be.

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