Is it love, is it not?

Adjustment is the key to make things work.

knotty affair : Any marriage is based on mutual compatibility, trust and respect for one another.

Which one is better – love marriage or arranged marriage? Metrolife speaks to some Delhiites and finds out what they prefer and why.

Shruti Nair says, “I think arranged marriages are man-made because a lot of emphasis are laid on families, religion, paramparas, customs, cast and financial status. Arranged marriages are complicated and love marriages are simpler and purer. So the latter is any day better.”

In a love marriage one gets time to develop mutual understanding between partners. Knowing someone before marriage allows partners to be more sensitive towards each other’s needs and desires. This way couples can adjust better. In arranged marriages, there is a pressure to conform to parental expectations like producing a male heir, taking part in family rituals and traditions, putting up with nagging relatives and even contributing to family’s expenses.

But not all love marriages have happy endings. Jumli Rana who supports an arranged marriage says, “Arranged marriage is far better because you can blame to your parents if you and your spouse are incompatible after marriage. This kind of marriage also gives plenty of time to understand each other’s differences.”

It is believed that arranged marriages happen only in India but such marriages took place even in Victorian Europe.

For Akshay Bansal, the best part about an arranged marriage is that the entire family is happy and there are no tears and no battles to fight to seek parents’ permission. He says, “Arranged marriage makes your life simpler as you don’t have to look around and propose anyone. But be it arranged or love, chances are you could end up marrying someone you might not even deserve.” He adds, “If we do away with arranged marriages in India, there might be an increase in the number of unmarried people in India.”

Caste system gave birth to arranged marriages, as some families didn’t want their children to marry outside their community and caste.

But be it love or arranged, any marriage is based on mutual compatibility, trust and respect for one another. According to psychologist Sangeeta Tripathi, it’s not the kind of marriage per se that is critical to a couple’s happiness, it’s the kind of people who enter it and their mindset at the time of marriage. “Adjustment is the key to make things work,” she says.

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