Praise can go a long way

What is the cycle of blessing? Learn more about appreciating and being appreciated from Bharat & Shalan Savur

What is the biggest stressor in your life? Not being appreciated. No appreciation and up goes your blood pressure, blood sugar levels and cortisol, making it the immunity-killer. Down plummets the mood, well-being and motivation. It’s true, your skin can erupt with a blister-like rash simply because your boss, senior, spouse, sibling or friend omitted to say, “Well done!” or “Thank you.”

Rather than brood, feel taken for granted or fall ill, I urge you to ask for appreciation. Sounds weird? You don’t have to throw a tantrum or be confrontational. Be upfront. Maintain friendly eye-contact and ask simply, “Did you like it?” Or you can say something leading like, “I thought that went rather well.” Then follow up with, “Do you think so too?”     

Sure it’s beautiful not to be dependent on other people’s positive feedback. At the same time, there’s something heartwarmingly sublime in hearing complimentary words about your efforts. The immune system perks up and your spirit feels the love and affection in the praise more than the praise itself.

The important thing is to not let yourself down and not to let others down either. The intention should be — let us all rise together. For that purpose, take these three steps:
nCreate a winning cycle. Include yourself and everybody in this cycle of blessing with this daily prayer affirmation: “Everything I say is welcomed and loved by all. Everything I do is appreciated by all. Abundance surrounds us. There is abundance available for all. We are all in this Great Infinite Cycle of Blessing. We are all magnets for prosperity in every field.
We are all 100 per cent healthy — physically, mentally, spiritually. I am blessed. We are all blessed.”  Remember, what goes around, comes around.

- Establish a robust self-image. Square your shoulders and straighten your spine. Develop a steely stubbornness to be healthy and to finish all important tasks you set for yourself. Finishing equals achieving, which equals confidence. When you do worthwhile things, you talk positively with the crisp assurance of one who has experienced victory over oneself. And nobody can snatch that victory from you. In such a scenario, appreciation from others knocks at your door; and stress slinks away.

- Build a support group. It’s nice to feel wanted, to be validated. A supportive body of people is like a body of water — it gives buoyancy to your spirit. It’s wonderful to have people who cheer you on your way to success, celebrate with you at every stage and are all there cushioning your setbacks so that you can rise and run again.

Appreciation is not just about saying “Wow!” It’s about giving with positive feelings. Maybe someone close to you just needs to hear you say, “I love you.” Say it. Another may need your sensitivity to balance her outlook. A third may need you to point out a path, your patience and to smoothen the way wherever possible. A fourth may need the light of your intelligence to broaden his/her thinking. Yet one more may just need an attentive, listening ear, and in this virtuous cycle, you too may need one or some of their blessings.

The more I dip into fitness, into spiritual waters, the more I realise that to be at peace with yourself, you need to be at peace with others. That good wishes nourish us so completely that we let go of complaints about food, weather, people, projects that never seem to take off. That if we can kill our shallow ways, we live in deeper radiance.

(The contributors have authored the book Fitness for Life.)