Snoring gentry

The only option before the helpless victim is to shift his venue of sleeping. Snoring from left and snoring from right. And the whirring noise of a fan in full blast. I was trying to sleep in a Goa hotel room that had three beds.

I was sandwiched between two snorers. And my sleep seemed to have been drowned in the high decibel noise that the nostrils of two bulky friends on my either side generated. The fan too was in the ‘et tu Brutus mood’ but at least it could be pardoned because it was at least spraying some cool air, unlike the friends who were all sound and fury.

I needed a calculator to count the sheep but sleep was far away, like the solution to the BJP crisis. It was then that famous quote ‘death is not my problem’ flashed to my mind. Whoever said it perhaps did not make others experience his snoring.

Had it been the case he would have as well said ‘Snoring is not my problem’ and I would have endorsed it per se. Because snores produced merrily in different frequencies and oscillations will be the least of the snorer’s problem. The listener nearby will be at the receiving end, literally.

The dead at least bequeath their wealth sometimes, not just problems, to their progeny but the snorer is ruthless. He only produces a sequence of waves sufficiently strong to rattle the helpless victims, like me for instance, and seems to be saying that the sound he is producing is merely the vibration of his respiratory structures, thank you. If it is loud and unpleasant it is not my problem, he would add, of course, after he wakes up.

God seems to be with the snoring gentry. If not he would have evolved a system where the high decibel noise would have disturbed the snorer too thus ensuring a level playing field and delivering social justice. But alas, that is not the reality. The only option before the helpless victim is to shift his venue of sleeping.

When that is a tall order the victim becomes a listening post, like a captive audience being harangued by a motor mouth.

How do wives/husbands manage in a similar situation? Each household will have a different story to narrate—just like the variety of snorting noises caused by vibration of the soft palate, which is the medical name for snoring.

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