Treat others well

In my previous office of employment, we had some bad blood between certain employees. One of the senior trainers who was also adept in human behaviour analysis, wanted to set this right.

So, at a party, he summoned all the trainers and said that they would play a game. He said, “I know that lots of you have ‘cold war’ vibes and grudges against other colleagues of the department. This happens in most big companies. You want to retaliate, take revenge and give a tit-for-tat response. The good news is that now is your chance! Take a piece of paper, write your name on it and then write something which you want a colleague to do. It can be anything, from nice to embarrassing, and from humiliating to something skilful – it’s up to you. This is what is called ‘giving back’.” All the employees started furiously writing, their eyes smirking with evilness and unconcealed glee!

However, there had to be a catch somewhere! Retaliating couldn’t be this easy! And there it came. After all the chits of paper came in, the senior trainer said, “Now, we are going to change the game a bit. The person who wrote the chit would have to do what he/she wanted his/her colleague to do! So, if you wrote something nice for your colleague to do, it will be easier for you to do it. However, those of you who wrote embarrassing, mean and vicious activities for your colleagues to do, likewise, will have to do them – in front of everyone!”

We now knew and understood the message behind this game. Treat others how you would like to be treated. What goes around comes around. If you wish your colleagues well, they in turn will treat you well, but if you plot, chastise or connive against them with wily schemes, then they will likewise treat you disdainfully, which could make life very obnoxious for both of you. The Bible says it all, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Nowhere is it clearer that what is on test here is attitude, which can make or break you. Attitude entails having an appropriate perspective in dealing with others by showing concern, empathy and not complaining vociferously and viciously. I always tell my students not to complain about another person because when that person points a finger at the other person, three fingers will be pointing back at him/her! So, one should not find incriminating fault or vituperatively insult another person unless one is 100% perfect and has not even 1% of fallacy. People in glasshouses should not throw stones at others.

I also reiterated to my Value Education (similar to Moral Science) students not to judge others. It is rightly said in all religions, and particularly in Christianity, that no human being has the right to pass judgment on another, though the latter may have committed a minor faux pas or intransigency. In the Bible, it is stated in Mathew 7:3-5, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take out the log out of your own eye and then you will see clearly….”

When one follows the above concepts of not judging, complaining or pointing out at others, one will be leading a better, more mature and more meaningful life with a much-amended attitude. Indeed “attitude is everything”. The following quotation holds good today as when it was first written, “It is your attitude – and not your aptitude – that determines your altitude.”

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