As you read it

Humour

If you read the newspapers minutely, I’m certain you have come across many headings that shock you and some that make you grin. Here are a few that have mystified me. It’s sharing time.

‘Head injury turns college dropout a maths genius.’ I am not kidding. This is what really happened because of an injury. I must take up boxing and get someone to knock some sense into me. Probably, that would make me a brilliant person too.

Let’s go onto the next one. ‘Why do people smile when they are frustrated?’ Now this one perplexes me. I can only think of pulling at my tresses when I’m annoyed. What about you? Do you agree?

This is indeed a weird one. ‘Man gets shot to get the feel of it.’ Now, how dumb is that? What the heck was he thinking when he asked his friend to shoot him in the leg? On the other hand, was he thinking at all?

There are some that make me restless because I abhor exercising. ‘A moment on the lips and lifetime on the hips’ and ‘Weight watchers gain weight.’ After reading the second one, I cheerfully showed the article to my hubby who chides me now and then, for gaining weight. He just nodded silently.

The next day he smiled and pointed out to another headline: ‘Soon a pill to motivate you to go to the gym.’ Now I am wondering whether I should start exercising or stop reading. I cannot decide which one I would benefit from.

Another study concludes: ‘Suspiciion resides in two areas of the brain.’ Luckily, I don’t have a brain.

‘Too much sugar makes you dumb.’ Since I love my beverages sweet, I better maintain silence.
‘Too much, too little noise erodes creativity.’ Is that the reason why teenagers love to study with metal music playing in the background?

‘Soon, electronic nose apps for smart phones.’ Why would I want to smell my freshly ground coffee with an application? What else will the geniuses invent now?

‘Watching TV makes you weak.’ That’s the most hilarious one I have ever read. Then, we ardent readers could probably say that reading has made us strong.

‘Brushing your teeth after meals can damage teeth.’ I am really mixed up. The question now is to brush or not to brush?

‘Humans evolved from prehistoric sharks.’ What! Will someone please clarify if my ancestors were monkeys or sharks?

‘Plants swaying in the breeze, talk.’ This is comforting to read because I thought I heard voices on my way to work. So, after all, I wasn’t hallucinating.

‘Eat home-cooked food and live longer.’ My hubby begs to differ and in truth, I agree with him.

‘Men like to do work, says study.’ It’s a crying shame that I read this after 28 years of being married.

Go ahead and roll on the floor laughing at the following ones. ‘Eye drops off shelf.’ ‘Army vehicle worth  $74,000 goes missing after being painted with camouflage.’

‘One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers.’ ‘Cold wave linked to 
temperatures.’

Did these headlines make you smile? Maybe, you have a few of your own to add.
That’s all for now. Until ‘we’ read again.

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